So I have had a rather lengthy year, besides moving to Shanghai in March, there has been a bit of China travel and experience and then some fun and some work globetrotting so it’s important to have a few days to relax and go visit the one man phenomenon Jack Spanish (my brother the writer in Phuket) and then to really chill out at the Racha!

So if you don’t hear from me for a few days, its because I will be feet up, drinking excessively here (start hating all you want!)

Dont worry I will be sure to post a large amount of luxuriously decadent pics along the way

From STM, may you have a massive New Year, one that you feel well into 2013 and may 2013 be the year that you create, conquor, love, be loved, exist, have fun, meet friends, gain trust, build, laugh, cry, sing, drink, eat, and all round make it a year of epic proportions!

So if you are a Laowai in Shanghai over Christmas there are two options for you. Either you return to the western country you came from, or you spend Xmas freezing and relatively alone. Fortunately every restaurant knows that it needs to fatten up the westerners lest they get homesick, so there is a serious amount of culinary excellence going on everywhere over this period!

I decided to return to an ‘old’ favorite for Xmas eve, Ecole Restaurant Ecole Paul Bocuse and their tasting menus!

If you didn’t know this already, I’m into food. Not in the i-like-to-eat-way but I genuinely LOVE good food – if you don’t believe me go have a look!

So after the usual beginning of a glass of house Champaz and a smoke to loosen up, its onto the decadence!

Venison with freshly grated truffles . . .

Lemon sorbet with Vodka, with a few extra shots of Vodka . . .

Now at this point, once again, there have been wine pairings with each course and so a few little sweet bites and a double espresso is ideal . . .

Thats how we do Xmas eve in Shanghai! THIS is how they do Xmas in Shanghai if you are interested (a mix of bizarre and normal!)

So being the first Xmas since moving to China I was quite interested to see what the hell actually goes on here. In SA everyone slowly slips into a warm holiday coma and no one dares to email each other until well into the New Year. There are however, few decorations, a large number of family gatherings and general all round merriment and drinking. I was eager to find out if I could expect the same!

China is, needless to say, a little different . . .

Firstly it is freezing (given that it’s the northern hemisphere that’s not a massive surprise really). Secondly there is a rather large expat population in Shanghai so there are an abundance of Xmas parties, brunches, lunches, dinners, events and markets. You would swear you were in a small German town somewhere by the amount of Bratwurst & Gluwein available around the city this time of year.

There are a good few gift, food and booze markets happening around the city (for some reason, I have no idea why, they are all German themed)

Thirdly every single major brand goes mental over Xmas. They have decorations for every piece of their stores, massive trees outside and everything you would expect to find in Paris during Xmas time.

Every building has a tree, presumably that’s cause every apartment building I’ve been into is full of Laowai, but never the less, our building even has a lift to put the star on the top (and gives everyone a very cute Santa filled with Xmas sweets!)

Then there are the abundance of Xmas parties which include proper carol singing, a first entirely for me, large amounts of alcohol, certainly not a first for me and just the same warm friend and family time as home – with a few homemade DIY Strawberry Santa’s!

Lastly what makes this so entirely bizarre is that the Chinese really do not know its Xmas at all. I mean they know that it’s happening but they have no idea what it’s about, what the point is and what you are supposed to do. My company does not stop, not on Xmas day, not on Boxing Day, not for a second. Why would it, it’s just another day here, yet the streets are lined with lights and trees, the consumers are buying like westerners shopping for presents. Yet when asked why they like Xmas so much, they say they are not sure they just like festivals – can’t argue with that logic.

All in all it’s a very strange time of year. On one hand I’ve never seen so many decorations, so much festivity and on the other its like it doesn’t even exist to 99.9% of the people but yet they still seem to want the pretty lights and festivity. All in all it really is a beautiful time to be in Shanghai!

So I don’t profess to be a dancer, know anything about dance, understand the moves or in fact get how any person can move their body in time to the music as well as these people do, but maybe it’s just cause I’m white?

I’ve written about So you Think You Can Dance Before, and while tracking back through my posts to find it I realized I have been sucked into a few reality shows along the way, however I haven’t stuck with any except this one!

Now I know this article is a little late, but I suppose you could think of it being very early for  the new season, and if you are only hearing about it for the first time you are about 9 seasons too late!

Now I know very season they have to bring a new ‘thing’ into it, a better, soppier story, a tighter race, more drama, it is a reality show after all, but this season there was a guy called Cyrus who was an animator?! If you’re first thought is WTF, then you would be in the same place I was a few months ago.

Here’s a taste . . .

In all seriousness, like I said in the beginning, I’m no dance expert but sometimes there are things in the world that are movingly beautiful and I find more of them on this show than I have on pretty any other much. The combination of magical choreography with perfect dance execution, judges that aren’t narcissistic self-righteous assholes (Gareth Cliff take note) and a host who is fun, smart and seriously hot, plus the best variety and quality of music around, all of this has got to add up to something outstanding . . . and it does.

If however you are not sold on the artistic and creative genius of this show then perhaps the allure of half-naked women with outrageously good bodies dancing is a better sales pitch? That, they have in magical abundance too!

These are just two routines of the animator Cyrus which blew my mind but I suggest you head over to YouTube and go have a look at the madness of talent . . . this is SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!

So as if I thought Beijing and Tianjin were not cold enough, I decided, well I was told rather, to head to Moscow for a bit of business. Ordinarily one would assume there would be some time to acclimate to the impossible to inhabit temperatures  however the travelling time to and from Moscow all in (35 hours) was more than half of the time actually spent in Moscow (60 hours) so not exactly a lot of time to mess about getting used to the weather!

So what did I learn from this excursion (outside of the productive work that is)?

When you live in a city, like Shanghai, that is completely foreign to you in every way you start to develop an understanding of things without being able to read pretty much anything. This does help you in a city where the signs look like they have come straight out of an Asterix & Obelix cartoon!

Moscow is beautiful, not when its grey, freezing and gloomy, but when the sun is shining (It only comes up at 10am) it really is a great city by day. The buildings have heritage and grace, the scenery is really magnificent for a big city and even the underground stations are based in the most glorious historical stories. The subway trains on the other hand look just like what I’d imagine Soviet Russia to be like!

There is seems to be such strength in the pride of the country and for the history that everything seems to have meaning and a purpose . . .

By night the city comes alive. It is, in the right locations, a world filled with Cristal champagne in every corner. Models, well they pretty much all look like models, on every arm and everything you would expect a cosmopolitan nouveau riche city to be!

This is the right location, overlooking the famous Red Square . . . .

When in Rome . . . you drink VODKA and when you see a giant Faberge egg being sold for the sole purpose of drinking like some kind of Siberian Prince you realize how serious these people are about two things – being exceedingly wealthy and drinking! Fortunately I was prepared mentally and physically for the latter!

There is a fair amount of arbitrary things, this too you seem to get used to living in China, but there were a few prize things that stood out like this tiny glass sculpture in my hotel room of a fat squirrel, rat or whatever type of rodent randomly perched against a mirror . . .

Then a trip to the supermarket gave these two beauties, yes, that is Strawberry toilet paper!

Finally, and without doubt most importantly, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT lose your passports five hours before your plane is going to take you home. This creates an epic F%$# UP for you and everyone around you. No, I am not this stupid, my brother however, decided it was too easy to do things normally and so he let a fair whack of cash and both his passports get stolen, okay he didn’t let it happen but when you dress like a Russian oligarch and carry TUMI everything you are bound to be a target!

If this does happen – here is the checklist of SH1T you will have to go through to travel out of the country!

1. Go to the SA embassy
2. Fill out a massive amount of paperwork
3. Get finger printed by a South Africa (who takes your left hand twice by mistake)
4. Travel in numerous cars of random strangers (in Moscow you can hail a normal private citizens car down, offer them some money and they will take you wherever you want – this is common practice in getting around the city because the taxis are so corrupt?!)
5. Go to a police station and explain the situation to get a police report filed
6. Fill out much more paperwork
7. Get ID photos taken by a guy who thinks he shoots the Playboy swimwear edition!
8. Fill out some more paperwork
9. Wait for South Africa to confirm you are actually who you are (waiting for SA could take until summer)

There are a few more steps from here but fortunately I didn’t lose all of my crap so I left Russia, barely making my plane but for a mad dash from the train. All in all I learnt that if the wine and vodka are flowing not much can upset you! Also you will get to the airport with just enough time to have a smoke, in the bizarre cordoned off smoking section next to the gate and slump into your chair with a glass of Roederer champagne to ease you off to sleep!

That ladies and gentlemen was 60 hours in Moscow, not for the faint hearted!

To be fair I cannot claim to be any sort of expert on China at all, I’ve been here 9 months only, most of which time has been spent in Shanghai or out of the country really, so when I pretend to pass judgment on Tianjin, take it with a pinch of proverbial salt.

So what did I learn on my trip then, all of 48 hours of it? Well, actually I was in Beijing for the launch of Brandz China Top 50 brands for WPP.  If you want to know which companies most of the people in the world currently work for or will work for in the future is a brilliant thing to have a look at!

Plus if you do you get to meet people like this (the name people, the name!)

Now BJ, as it’s so brilliantly shortened to, is getting cold about now. I mean around the freezing mark and it’s still about two months away from the worst winter has to offer.

Then you take the train to Tianjin . . .

Tianjin is a ‘smallish Chinese city’ of roughly 10 million people, one of about 20 or 30  in the country and so it’s nothing special really and in fact for the time I was there you couldn’t really tell the roads from the buildings from the sky which makes it even more of a treat! I’m probably being unfair to the place, I mean it does have a Ferris wheel, that’s gotta count for something, no?

Now because my job is based around retail I generally get to have a look around stores and malls wherever I am. This is a lot less glamorous than you would think but in China it certainly has its perks. The range of things you see from fully clothed pets (incl shoes and hats) to people smoking in the fresh produce section (TO THE FRESH PRODUCE  SECTION ITSELF as my fellow STM partner says ‘most of that shit you would find in a pet store’) to beautiful things like this!

Now sometimes I travel on my own budget which means I like to enjoy where I stay as much as is humanly possible so this results in villas mostly. Then there are times I stay on the companies budget which means run of the mill Hilton, Hyatt etc, good hotels but pretty much standard rooms and then, there are sadly times when my clients prescribe the budget and I stay in some very average, sometimes frightening inn-sorta-places. Now in China this really can be surprisingly pleasant or horribly un-so, this trip was the latter. You know that it’s not going to be a good night when you find an Armageddon mask in the bedside table (and when the bedside table is bolted down for that matter).

Finally the airport on the way out was the best part of this specific Chinese outing. Normally the smoking lounges in china are tiny, old and filled with a thousand small men all trying to, simultaneously, get cancer and give it to each other, so you can imagine what I expected in a ‘small city’ airport. To my magnificent surprise I found the last place on earth that still respects the smoker! A massive room with about 30 massage chairs for the general public to wonder in, have a smoke and sort out their lower back issues!

The best part of the trip however, and this is why I love travelling in China so much, was the massive gargantuan unbelievable amount of arbitrary that the Chinese often indulge in! As I was walking to my gate I saw a line of about 50 people, assuming this was my boarding gate I walked up to the queue only to realize these people were waiting in line to get their photo taken, by a professional no less, in front of a giant picture of an Airbus A380.

Sometimes words actually fail me.

The moral of the story is every trip I gain a tiny insight into the Chinese way of thinking, culture and countryside. It is in all seriousness a true privilege and one of the big reasons I moved here!

The exploration continues, but first off to Moscow!

My brothers and I are very close, and now that we live in three very separate parts of the world it makes seeing each other rather difficult, so when our diaries do somehow overlap it’s cause to celebrate (even if it is for only 30hrs) and what better place to do that than Bangkok!

Now having seen The Hangover II, the dangers of three grown men running wild in the streets of Bangkok are clearly apparent, but who says common sense was part of the weekends proceedings?

Here’s what I learnt!

1. If you arrive at your hotel at midnight on a Friday night and have to leave Sunday morning you are asking for trouble. If you cannot avoid it then make sure you have a private TUK TUK for the duration and some Chang Quarts ready, cold and waiting (fortunately my one brother is very focused and prepared for things like this! He has seen man a tour of this nature!) – this is our fearless driver, Ten (yes his name was Ten)

Ten in all his glory! Do not at 4am tell him you want to go to ‘one more place’ – GO HOME!

2. In a whirlwind tour like this you need to get absorbed early on. A bucket, a Phad Thai on the street and a box of Marlboros on the Khao San road will do this for you . . .

This is a bucket (its filled with goodness, black magic and red bull)!!

3. Somehow over the last little while I have forgotten what it’s like to be in a really good club. I also have seemed to have forgotten what it’s like waking up with stamps on your arms and not remembering where the hell they came from!

4. If you are going to wake up extraordinarily hangover, do it in a place like the Mandarin Oriental. First of all the luxury does add a little padding to the pain you will feel and secondly it’s easier to go down for something to eat when there is a string quartet playing in the lobby.

5. As soon as your body is strong enough, head down the river (DO NOT TAKE THE PUBLIC FERRY – YOU WILL HURL!). There is something about a little bit of chaos, dirt and general decay that reminds me of Africa as a whole and allows you to channel the inner warrior for recovery! Eat something overlooking the water (hot is good) and have a beer, no matter how hard it is!

6. When you are in a private boat, do not get ripped off like a tourist and if it starts to rain, you are F%$#@! Subsequent to this point, if it starts to rain and you find one umbrella for three people, its every man for himself (I almost got pushed out of the boat over this)

7. Anticipate the above and have more than one pair of jeans for the trip (I did, but I was alone – hotel dri-cleaning takes time you do not have). If you are at the Mandarin Oriental, take their shuttle boat across the river to the spa. Get a massage (note to self – DO NOT GO FOR A RUN) then steam, sauna and climb into the tiny bubble jet pool and fully re-focus for next night!

8. Have a drink at the edge of the river at the hotel bar (DO NOT WEAR SHORTS EVEN THOUGH ITS A BIJJILLION DEGREEs). Watch the sun go down, have a Corona with lime. Change your dinner reservation 12 times with Quintessentially, the hotel concierge and the various restaurants themselves (you don’t have to do this really but for some reason my family seems to think its imperative!).

9. If you listen to nothing else, listen to this! Go to the Hotel Lebua and have a dirty martini at Sirocco (just check the gallery). This was the place they filmed the scene with the helicopters in the Hangover II . The bar will be packed, you will feel like you are touching immortality (well after 3 very strong Martinis you will). Keep a steady supply of Red Bull to your blood and eat something!

10. If sufficiently drunk move onto the Soi Cowboy (this is the road they party on / lose their shit on in Hangover II – I can see how easily it can happen). The shortest, brightest, dodgiest, craziest road in Bangkok. There’s only one thing to do here, survive!

11. If you are still alive the next morning, have a walk, have something to eat and make sure you fly back business class, anything else at this point may put your body over the edge.

Leave before Bangkok gets you and make a clean break. Make sure all the brothers are still alive (well alive enough) before you leave.

Plan for the next gathering of The Brothers!

I find it amazing how much time we spend circulating meaningless (albeit very enjoyable) Nando’s adverts, talking about the Presidents  palace upgrades, the weekends sporting happenings and or general internet nonsense YET when a true, real life hero who has dedicated his time and efforts to giving people a better life, comes along we seem to let it slip right by – MYSELF INCLUDED!

On Saturday night I went to the Shosholoza ball in Shanghai. I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Kliptown Youth Program would be performing (I had no idea who they were really, to be honest). This group of kids ran into the room with more energy than I have ever seen. Ranging from 9 years old to 26 and coming out of one of JHBs most impoverished areas, they lifted the room instantly.

They made me cry instantly. They made me cry for an hour!

They are a small part of the Kliptown Youth Program. They are the product of much hard work by many people and it would be a shame to discount the rest of those invovled  but what you can do is VOTE FOR ONE OF THEM.

Thulani Madondo has been nominated as one of 45 000 CNN heroes around the world. He has made it into the top 10 IN THE WORLD. The first South African ever to do so!

You would think this would be more important than the chicken Proteas blocking out to the Aussies or the Springboks eeking out a weekend win over a horrible English side – BUT NO. Sometimes I wonder why people like Thulani do the amazing work that they do when the world seems to be focussed only on what it can buy next or whats on TV later – AGAIN, embarrassingly, I include myself!

You CAN do something, if you click on THIS LINK it will take you to CNN HEROES page and you can vote. You can vote from each email address 10 times per day BUT the catch is the voting closes in two days!

SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT NOW!

I cannot tell you personally the amazing things these people achieve because it wouldn’t be my place but what I can tell you is that when we as South Africans have an opportunity to get behind someone like this, we should be shouting it from the rooftops! We should be forcing those around us to get involved and we should be cheering men like this as they deserve to be cheered, as national icons.

Just watch . . .

This is one of the lights in our world and he deserves our support. His work deserves our support and if all you have to do click a few extra times today to potentially win this man and his teams project a massive amount of money and coverage, tell me thats too hard a thing to do!

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, CLICK HERE and VOTE! You have 48 hours to actually do something good!

Sometimes this city overwhelms me and my brain goes into safe mode. Thankfully this normally only happens on a Friday!

So today there will be no intelligent in-depth posts because sometimes it is important to switch off and revert back to caveman software and enjoy beauty in the female and automotive form.

 . . . and now for something completely different!

Happy weekend STMers!

I live to eat, it’s that simple.

Some people eat to live, some say they live to eat but I truly believe I do fall into the live to eat category (that, and drink I suppose). Because I am hard wired this way I try and spend as much time as I can in places that create great food (great food is a number of things  just expensive food!)

You can imagine my excitement when I managed to get two seats of the ten at the legendary Paul Pairet’s (just do yourself a favor and look at the food section of his page!!)new creation ULTRAVIOLET (a place that has been 15 years in the making). He is the legend behind many things, but for me most importantly, the creator of probably my favorite restaurant in Shanghai, Mr and Mrs Bund!

So what is it exactly . . .

I battled to describe it really but it is the combination of all senses experienced and expressed through 22 courses of perfectly selected food combinations and forms, drink pairings, sounds, lights, projections and smells ( I dare you to try imagine the number of combinations needed to pull this off – let alone to the unparalleled levels of excellence to which he has done) I dare say this is the greatest culinary experience anywhere in the world right now.

It is as if food has been operating in 2D for so long and someone has come along and skipped 3D but given us food in 4D.

It starts with a briefing at Mr & Mrs bund and a presentation of a small folded piece of tissue paper that gives just enough information on the impending proceedings to make me giddy with excitement.

(Some pics are my own but for some I relied on the professionals and have stolen them with pride)

Now I’ve been trying to work out how exactly I can explain this to you without going course by course (because that would take days and also I think this is one thing you want to experience yourself)

So I thought of dividing this into food and experience . . .

The experience.

As you enter the room you realize that everything is done with a purpose, from the names projected onto your seats, to the surrounding canvas of a room that will become the greatest culinary enhancment of all time.

The exceptional host or director Fabien Verdier introduces the proceedings and then the projectors take over. A small house is projected all around and slowly you start to descend beneath the earth, then the underground and so on until you find yourself in a world created by the dreams and imaginations of what I can only express as true genius!

From then on every course has sounds, sights and table projections, that take this from a tremendously complex tasting occasion to an all encompassing all engrossing orgy of the senses!

The perfect ending is when a screen appears and a live demonstration of one of the deserts ensues, slowly as you watch the walls fold back to reveal the artists at work and a tour of the kitchen (at this point you are thinking can these people think of any part of my mind that hasn’t been blown!)

Each course is perfectly served, described and consumed. I know this will sound contrived and cliched but I dont really care. Its as if Chef Paul and his team are the musicians and Fabien the conductor to which both combine skill, precision and true talent to make one of the greatest gastronomic symphonies of all time!

Now, The food.

As you are told right from the beginning the food is the most important part, it is after all a restaurant (from another galaxy, yes, but a restaurant none the less) and everything starts from the food and is developed outward. The food in a word must be, perfect and it is without question!

Here is just a small sample of some of my favorite out of the 22 courses in UV A menu.

Amuse Bouche was an apple wasabi sorbet lodged between the perfect fork / chop stick utensil – one bite, pallet cleansed, heart racing and mind engaged.

Ready to go!

Micro fish, no chips served in the perfect wet and rainy British setting! This paired with a shot of micro brewery beer. (I think the total collection of things in this dish was one of the most powerful for me!)

Foie Gras Cigar and red cabbage ash (dip and eat) aptly named ‘Foie Gras – Cant Quit’ and paired with a light Sherry!

Truffle soup bread served under a bell jar filled with cigar smoke (I see you crinkling your nose but honestly I could not believe how this entangled deliciously with the bread! Then again I am a smoker).

This paired with a 2010 Chardonnay from Burgundy.

Sea-bass baked into the bread with cheeses, olives, sun-dried tomato etc and then carved (as you can see above in an Aquarium motif) into slices and served. You can imagine the complexity of baking bread with a fish inside and managing not to spoil either of them!

Cucumber lollipop and frozen Gado Gado  served with an ambiance of Balinese masks floating around the room (you can see the pic above)

Egg tartlette served in a silver egg on a projected frame (one bite)

Well into the deserts, with the magnificently created Mandarin (this is slightly borrowed from one of my favorite all time dishes at MR & Mrs Bund – Lemon & Lemon Tart). If you imagine a whole mandarin soaked in syrup for a number of days and then through witchcraft and black magic somehow putting mandarin sorbet  and mandarin curd into the fruit without breaking the skin. Simply Outrageous!

At this point I am perfectly full, superbly satisfied and ready for a little something sweet to round it all off. A small tribute to your childhood is next with Hibernatus Gummies, frozen flavoured gummie bears served with flash frozen cola rock sweets on a projection of a child’s drawing This comes complete with an audio visual Gummie Bears race and a real life one by the kitchen team!

Finally after all of this the walls open, as I have discussed above, and then after a tour of the kitchen a Suzette carrot cake, Coriander-orange-cream cheese (the carrots are actually a mix of many ingredients and then shot out of a carrot gun.)

At the end of the meal its back to the table to ‘do the dishes’ a combination of rose foam, berry washing liquid and just a fun mish-mash of delicious deserts! I love the theme and idea of a non pretentious, fun and relaxed last course!

When dinner is done a proper tour of the kitchen and the ‘behind the scenes’ view of this amazingly incredible (I think Ive run out of superlatives by this stage!) machine! Then off to the UV Nightclub for a wind down glass of Champagne and review of the evenings events to try and re-live each course!

What did I leave out?

Pop rock Oyster, Green the citric, Cuttlefish Guimauve, Aglio e olio, Lobster essential, Cocotte iodine, Charred Eggplant, Tendon Tahine, Encapsulated bouillabaisse, Basilic Aioli Orange, Engloved Truffle Lamb, Wagyu simple, Tomato Pomodore, Crunchy fierce salad, Cheese, Tomato Peach ‘no shark fin’ soup, Avocado Brulee Natella

I’m not sure how much of this anyone will understand but all I can say is no matter what they are called they are the combination of imaginative genius and exceptionally talented people!

Problems with this post!

1. The order of events may not be 100% accurate (this is due to the fact that every part of my brain was being stimulated and engaged at once – taking photos was a hard enough task let alone remembering what was when)

2. If you have read this far you deserve a medal because I think this is the longest post I have ever constructed

3. I have certainly not done justice to these dishes, the surroundings, the chefs, the staff, the host and to probably everything else (even including the most advanced toilet I’ve ever seen) but to be fair unless you experience this yourself you cannot dare begin to grasp it!

All I can say is Thank you UV team for absolutely blowing my mind and for advancing the world of culinary arts!

So I haven’t written in a while for very good reason. I’ve been travelling, drinking excessively and eating like a French King before the revolutions stopped all that goodness.

First I had the pleasure of heading out to Nanjing . . .

Now when you ask the Chinese about Nanjing they tell you it’s quite a small little town and by the way they talk you kind of feel like you are heading out to Potchefstroom when in actual fact it has the population of Johannesburg, roughly 10mill. As I arrived at my hotel I was aimlessly reading the hotel info, waiting for the elevator  only to find out I was standing in and staying in the 7^th tallest building on earth (nice ‘rural’ town!)

The Nanjing Intercontinental & 7th tallest building in the world behind what i can only describe as a mini Great Wall!

So what did I learn in Nanjing . . .

1.       The combination of an ever growing and developing first world nation set on top of the ancient legacy of Chinese dynasties is incredibly beautiful. I had the fortune of exploring Ming Xiaoling Mausoleum which is basically the resting place of the first Ming Dynasty’s emperor.

You can imagine based on the village they built for him to be dead in, what power he must have wielded during his life!

2.       As I strolled through the ancient parks surround by a city wall that is barely even a feature of China, let alone known by the rest of the world (but is 50m high and 10m thick – a mini Great Wall) I noticed how appreciative the Chinese are of each other’s talents – this was ribbon dancing just performed for the fun of it followed by spinning top people, singers and on and on simply in the park through the day for no other reason than enjoying a skill and enjoying the ability to entertain those who pass by!

3.       The other thing you notice is how the Chinese regard the environment which, is somewhat of a surprise, as they are viewed as great destroyers of the natural world by most outsiders. You would generally put this down to an amusing translation mistake but the more I study and learn Mandarin here the more I realise the emotion conveyed in the words which makes me appreciate signs like this are not mistakes but rather the true meaning coming out!

4.       Simply put, to eat here is fantastically exciting (both in location and in content) but you have to be brave (and when you get to the bottom of your soup you are likely to find something’s head). Eat it, experience it and never be that annoying foreigner who says ‘eeewww that’s disgusting!’

5.       When you are in the 7^th tallest building in the world the views are unreal but if you are brave enough to stand right up against the glass you can actually feel just how insignificantly mortal you are, but if you lay in the bath overlooking the same view you can feel like an unstoppable god!

6.       I had to stay on a few days for business and my clients budgets for travel are slightly different to my own so I went from a suite at the Intercontinental to a room that cost RMB 300 (400 ZAR per night). It had a flat screen, a double bed and bathroom amenities – all in all I think it was the best value for money hotel (or motel) room I’ve stayed in anywhere in the world!

Not too bad for R400 (although i think the bed was a plank and a sheet – not good to dive into when drunk!)

You even get a full set of bathroom amenities!

7.       Finally and most importantly I learnt that language is the biggest barrier to communication but if you add a drinking game, 5 people who speak no English, one laowai, a singer in full silver and a DJ in full gold you can communicate like you are Siamese twins.

The picture cannot express the absolutely brilliant cliche of a DJ in full gold sequins from head to toe!

 case study on how drinking games transcend language barriers!

This is one of the reasons I came to China and I must say its taken me a while to get going (only Suzhou has been the other trip so far, well that and Bali & Singapore and now Bangkok and back to SA – ok so a bit in 6 months) but now that I’m up and running its going to be a hell of a ride, that I’m sure of!

If you are a reader you will know that tasting menus are somewhat of a dirty pleasure on mine. If not go have a read why! You will also know that Restaurant Ecole Paul Bocuse has become a rather regular date in the diary now for many reasons. Mainly because its a school first and foremost which means the chefs are keen to explore and adventure, and secondly because I just love the way the ‘theme’ their menus.

The latest concoction was a BLACK TRUFFLE theme and coincidentally the swansong of the departing 2012 class (I will miss them dearly but I’m excited to meet the new class!!). So without further delay here it is!

To start as usual a glass of Champagne to get the juices flowing, and then onto . . .

You can see that there was a great deal of trouble smashing this one in my face!

Finally just in case there was a tiny but of space not filled by truffles and magic, an espresso and a few sweet treats (the middle one is a truffle macaroon – like I said I’m gonna miss the class of 2012)

Tonight however I am taking it to a whole new level, if you want a little preview go checkout the website for what I hope with be the culinary experience of a lifetime!

I had the privilege of captaining Bryan Habana at school for a while back in the days when I thought I had a career in rugby and he was then about the size of his left thigh today, so he didn’t!

I remember watching him from year to year and at some point he started putting in some serious work, bulked up over the off seasons, grew stronger, faster and really started to develop from a sneaky tiny scrumhalf to a talented, smart and agile member of the backline!

He started to make provincial youth teams and around about the same time people started saying it was because of his race, because of his father’s influence, because of a million different things other than his talent. As if he had been training for his future stardom he took this all very much in his stride, put his head down and carried on developing.

I followed his career with keen interest for obvious reasons but it never really hit me what a global superstar he had become until the 2007 World Cup. While stumbling blind drunk back to my hotel I got lost and managed to find someone to ask for directions. Once I had shown him the hotel’s name and he had pointed in the general direction he asked “Afrique du Sud?”, in my very limited French vocab I responded positively to which he burst into the boradest smile and screamed “HABANA! WOW!” that was the sum total of his English vocab. Through a haze of red wine it made me vicariously proud to have in some capacity known this kid from KES who had made such a positive impact on so many people around the world!

Today he is a household name, he is a magician on the field, he is the leading Springbok try scorer of all time, he is the highest capped Springbok of all time and he has just won his third SA Rugby Player of the year. There is certainly a case for him to be one of the all time Springbok greats.

A far cry from the young man who was accused of getting ahead because of his race.

I could not think of a more worthy representative for South African rugby. He is humble, joyful and thankful for what he has achieved and what he has got. He comes from a good close family who has and continues to support him and he without doubt deserves everything he has achieved!

Congratulations on yet another accolade Habs! You continue to make us all proud!

Following on from my previous article I stumbled across this brilliant piece of writing. I’m not sure the source of its origin and I’m not sure of its author unfortunately – what I am sure of is how perfectly it describes our continent and how brilliant it illustrates why we are drawn to it so deeply, so passionately and why we long for its survival.

What I do know is sitting in a Shanghai office half a world away this is the first real time my heart aches that I cannot be there to withstand the pain and celebrate the victories.

I miss my home as the lump in my throat grows and my eyes fill with tears and this is without doubt the most perfect expression of why . . .

The real Africa is the one they never show you

The real Africa is hidden beneath veneer of poverty and hunger and death; a cancerous mass on the face of the earth that the rest of the world term homogenous “Africa.”

The real Africa is submerged underneath corruption and greed, underneath tyranny and an ostentatious elite, underneath the faces of the people they cannot feed.

The real Africa is buried beneath shanty towns rife with dirt and disease, where children are forced to grow up much too quickly to survive.

The real Africa is concealed under a no-man’s land of desert, bare and dry and unable to sustain green and healthy life. No, that’s not the real Africa.

The Africa I know.

The Africa that is reflected in the warm sunshine that you can feel burning inside you.

The Africa that shines from a warm, spontaneous smile.

The Africa that is at the heart of sky-high mountains and tropical jungle, of golden sand dunes and lush green grassland.

The Africa that is at the heart of different peoples, different languages, different cultures, different identities who all call this land their home.

The land where moyo multi unomera pauno; where roots take hold and don’t let go, solid as the baobab tree that has always been and will always be there, standing steady and solid against the menaces of time.

My Africa is where my heart resides even when I am long gone and far away, where my mind drifts to across the distance of a never-ending ocean.

The real Africa can be smelt the minute you step off a plane onto African soil and feel the air calling you, beckoning you home.

The real Africa is the chaos and the calm that exist side by side as honking cars zoom past on streets that run parallel to cows grazing peacefully in a field.

This is the real Africa, the one they never show. This is the place I call home.

If you a really brave, listen to this an read it again! I cant because I have a good few Chinese people coming into my office and asking if everything is ok? They wont get it even after much explanation!

I wrote a piece a while ago about how when you buy something it should be evaluated based on how it makes you feel rather than any other superficial reason.

I had the privilege of heading to Bali as the summer slowly slips away in my part of the world!  Firstly it is simply one of the most stunning places I’ve ever been to, it sort of reminds me of Mozambique in a way, ‘frenzied picturesque magic’ is probably the way I would describe it. There is the combination of complete third world little towns in the interior and then just the most sensational spots as you get closer to the water.

I suppose being in a decent hotel helps but let’s move on.

Whenever I visit somewhere I get a feeling from it, I can be in the best hotel or the crappiest little motel (thankfully not in a while), doesn’t matter who I with or who not with and it doesn’t matter what we are doing, there is something about a place that speaks, it’s the soul of the place.

I can only imagine the hardships that go on in Bali, people are by generalization VERY poor and spend all their energy getting and keeping a job that is serving fat foreigners sunning themselves by the beach or pool (tourism accounts for a massive chunk of Balinese employment hence the dedicated tourism University). Because of this kind of situation in many places I’ve been to, this has somewhat stunted the emotion of these people and they sort of live in an existent state of perpetual emotionless-ness, but not the Balinese, through whatever adversity they somehow manage to exude only warmth, tranquility and peacefulness. I’m not one to get in the religion debate but somehow the two places I’ve felt this feeling most are India and Bali so far (both share deep ancient roots in Hinduism).

Whether it’s that or the weather, because I don’t think it’s possible to be sad in a place that looks like this day after day, I’m not exactly sure but to be in a place where from the moment you step off the plane you know that things won’t work so well, you know that customs will take a few hours to get through and you know that you will wait in traffic a lot because there’s only one crumbling road from A to B, but you don’t care. The place somehow seems to grab hold of your insides and soothes them.

I’ve been thinking a lot about South Africa lately. As someone who left recently (most likely not forever) I have some new views on it, perhaps slightly more critical views than ever before. I’m certainly not one of those ‘completely changed my loyalty, negative ex-SAns’ but when you are far away you see things differently. When you have moved out and realize the whole world is an opportunity and you can live anywhere you start to wonder why you should live in place that is in a perpetually-semi-functional-chaos?

The truth is it’s because of the soul of South Africa. Sure a lot of the time things don’t work, the governments steals, rapes and pillages, sure we have an extremist trying to brainwash the youth, sure the president is spending tax money to refurbish his palace in rural no where and the list goes on and on but somehow if you connect with a place, like I did in Bali, it grabs hold of your soul and makes you believe anything can be possible here. If you don’t believe me ask any foreigner who is standing at ORT airport ready to board their flight back to whatever country they came from, ask them what they thought and if they will come back. There is no doubt they will tell you two things every time, ‘Warm people’ and ‘Amazingly beautiful’. They wont tell you great food, nice hotels or stupid artificial things like that because this country goes deeper than the superficial, it reaches down your throat and grabs your heart and makes it beat a little faster! It breaths air into your lungs and inflates your soul because its messy, dirty, happy, magical Africa and its f$#@ing hard at times but we all slog along to make it work!

That may be why I have ever lasting hope for South Africa, I believe in its people and I believe at some point the magic of SA will help us to change it into a truly great nation. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no magical cure for the very real problems South Africa has. In fact it certainly could fail (it has been and continues to be on a knife edge)  if left to its own devices but if we continue to believe and continue to WORK for its future I truly believe we can create a country to be proud of once again!