A Hollywood tale for once in real life!

Lately humanity has left a bad taste in my mouth.

001_But_the_World_Needs_a_Hero

I mean there is a lot of evil stuff going on in the world but as a South African you sort of have enough of your own problems to worry about that you kind of focus on SA rather than worrying about the rest of the worlds ‘1st world problems’. But lately it seems South Africa has taken a particular turn for the disgusting.

I can imagine this was what it was like during the dark days of apartheid, police opening fire on miners and the minister of police laughing when she sees the footage. Cops dragging ‘potential threats’ behind their van just to ‘teach them a lesson’ let alone the daily billions that are being pissed away by the government for fun and fancy with no regret or guilt for the millions living in dirt and squalor.

BFNdvciCIAAE2xv

I’m getting a little off topic. Like I said I’m rather disappointed by the way the world is at the moment. Thankfully I came across this the other day. The story in brief is nothing short of Disney written and Hollywood produced (it may very well get to that point). Hollywood has for so long painted us pictures of unlikely heroes, movies like RUDI which is one of my favorites or RADIO has Cuba Gooding Jr at his pinnacle of brilliance, giving us heartwarming tales of the underdog, either physically or mentally, and their unlikely heroism. I know they are roughly based on truth but really now, who believes Hollywood’s version of the truth.

The sad fact in the world today is more like this video, I posted a few weeks ago, on bullying in schools.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

I had all but given up in the future of the world until watching this. It’s not Hollywood, it’s not embellished, it’s not showy and it’s not fancy. What it is, is a moment when kids somewhere have reversed what seems to be the trend lately of picking on the kid that’s a little different. This really just is great story about what you see so often in the movies but sadly real life just seems to be moving towards the opposite at a rapid pace.

Enjoy this, for your soul . . .

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTaB-hPg0P4

It seems, for now at least, every new days brings something more tragic, more horrific and more disgusting in South Africa. I fear the the silver lining is fast dissapearing but i suppose its the world not just SA which looks like its going this way. We can only hope that the good that comes out of places like the above can permeate the bad not just in SA but all over the world cause the world really does need a hero right now!

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain . . .

It’s funny, this quote from Batman: The Dark Knight may have been made up by some script writer somewhere and you may have brushed it off as a nice little piece that added to the demise of Harvey Dent in the movie, but, when I read this article about Michael Schumacher retiring I started to think about it a little more.

I don’t think Schumi could ever be described as a villain per se but if you look at his legacy it may be fairly apt. I mean he built one of the greatest sporting legacies of all times really and when he came back to the sport, certainly for me, he ended up partially destroying it.

More recently you can take the example of Lance Armstrong. He certainly could have died (albeit not as too much of a hero at that stage) but has ne not lived long enough to see himself become a villain? He has to be the best example of what I’m trying to say here sadly and while I wish it were not the case it is now certainly fact. Once thought to be (by me especially) one of the world’s greatest heroes he now stands in a long dark shadow of shame!

There are countless other examples. People like, one of my all time (and still) heroes, Ryan Giggs who was for a long time thought to be the model of what a professional sportsman and gentleman should be. Then they found out he was, well sharing more than just DNA with his brother. Image shattered and villain status approved. Then there’s dear Tiger Woods who again was the picture perfect poster boys for all things good and right in the sporting world only to be found out as a sex addict (great excuse by the way TW).

I won’t even delve into the world of Hollywood, they are probably villains from the very start but there are plenty of examples there as well. Needless to say I’m not entirely sure how they work their ‘villain scale’ over there but I’m pretty sure its a little more warped than my other characters!

Sadly when taking a look around the world, maybe it’s the day and age we are in that people just are more villainous, more than they used to be. Perhaps now there is such a big spotlight shining on everyone famous all the time that their indiscretions are exposed more easily and then in an instant transported around the world. Regardless of the reason I somehow am starting to believe the mantra that it’s not possible to have both the long career and then the eternal legacy that goes with it.

Perhaps Sir Alex Ferguson is my last hope :)

 

Them Mines . . .

What a mess we find ourselves in a month or so after the biggest police massacre since the dark days.

We have miners still striking, threatening and killing people who get in there way. We have police scared to protect whichever side they are supposed to be protecting. We have a government who as usual is doing nothing to resolve the issue but rather taking wild stabs at solutions like charging the miners with murder (so far so good guys!), we have the unions who actually are not sure how to press forward for resolution and we have a resurgent JuJu Malema who has found his new soapbox to spew pollution from (and here I was thinking we had dodged this bullet!)

This situation is like trying to disarm a nuclear weapon with a sledgehammer, by ten people, all at once!

My view is actually quite simple. Miners, past, present and future are critical not only to companies but to countries, to our country and its economy, of that there is no doubt. They have been unsung heroes for decades and on their sweating, bleeding broken backs we built a nation. Never forget that. We treat them like dirt, we make them live in squalor and we pay them scraps. You can see why JuJu and his new political party, disregarded morons from the ANCYL, are licking their lips. They have the best reason to promote violence and chaos and to be fair I don’t blame them. Fortunately we know JuJus intentions and his selfish aspirations (as well as his love of bribery and corruption) so we know upfront that he is using this situation to gain a voice and assume power again.

I shudder to think how many more people would be supporting him if his poisoned nature hadn’t come out already! The simple answer is he must be stopped, silenced and withdrawn from this equation immediately. He will spew lies and filth until he has brought this country to its knees and he will do so not for the good of those he pretends to serve but to further his own agenda. His must be removed and it must be now!

The question I still have unanswered in my mind is why has the government been so pathetically scared to get involved? Why are they not mediating and brokering peace in this bloody battle, and why on top of it all are they not regulating the salaries and the living conditions of these underground thousands? The government has the power to make sure that these people have basic living conditions, a salary that they can live on as well as education and healthcare of basic enough standards to uplift their families and children so maybe the next generation will escape this sub ground prison!

The government once again has stammered around so much that we have a madman dictator inciting violence at every turn so the ‘boers’ will come to the table, we have miners killing and being killed and we have no real way forward, not to get mines back on line nor to get the miners the extra money they need.

The real problem or danger here is that people all around the country are watching how this plays out. Workers from factories to stores to plants will watch and see if they can join on this bandwagon of wanting more and if this happens the domino effect may be one that could cripple the nation for a period of time.

What a mess we find ourselves in and sadly a government with an absent leader means we are a long way from solving this problem, especially with someone like JuJu leading the call for and ongoing mining revolution (as I’ve always maintained id still like to see him spell that)

 

As if there are not enough guns?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a massive of fan Tony Stark standing in front of a newly nuked Middle Eastern country side professing, “That’s how dad did it, that’s how America does it . . . and it’s worked out pretty well so far” – in the movies that is.

In real life we live in a world where guns have become so easily obtainable that high school massacres and public shootings have become a part of an everyday concern let alone the usual gang violence, carjacking and other ‘normal’ crimes with weapons.

It seems far too easy for any person with an agenda (and even more so angry bullied teenagers) to walk into a store and buy a piece of equipment that is designed to kill and maim. If you don’t believe me you should watch this movie, it’s an oldie but it shows in one (very large democratic) country just how easy it is to create violence for almost no reason! Imagine whats happening out there in your country every day.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUSpszWfu_w

For these reasons I find it so bizarre that our focus as a global community is not to take weapons away and get rid of as many guns as possible but rather to find easier ways to create them.

I stumbled across this article on the brilliant GIZMAG and it got me thinking just how crazy the world has become that we are now using 3D printers to manufacture guns. When this technology could be used for things like fixing broken bones, creating organs or blood vessels to help chronically sick patients we choose to fund those who want to make more cheaper guns available – does this sound like a rational civilization?

If you thought it was easy to get guns before can you imagine, as this technology gets cheaper and cheaper as its bound to get, how many guns will be produced and sold illegally if all you need is a printer to make a few of these . . .

I often get concerned about humanity that its moral conscience is slowly slipping away. I mainly make jokes about the fact that we have crumbled to the point where Justin Bieber is a global icon but the truth is when we start printing weapons, the joke becomes less amusing I fear!

The other day i watched a movie called Project X (which is actually quite classic – go watch the TRAILER). Another in the long line of very amusing Superbad-esque movies of geeky guys who want to be popular so they throw a party and it gets out of control etc. etc. I always love watching these up to the point where you think dear lord these dudes are ABSOLUTELY F%$#ED! You know the point where it goes from ‘damn that looks like a good party” to “how are they going to explain a Merc CLK in their swimming pool”. From that point on i start to cringe further and further under my seat until the kid gets busted and it all ends semi happily!

It got me thinking though, in this movie that we live in, at what point will we start having to hide under our seats for fear that this shit is getting so far out of control that there is just no way to fix it?

Why support Fabrice Muamba and not real problems?

On Saturday night I was having a rather normal evening, a birthday braai, a few thousand pints of the delicious @mitchellsbrew and settling in to watch Spurs play Bolton in the FA Cup (not that I support either but you know how braai, football and beer go together.

You all no doubt know what happened from there . . .

As I watched the crying and anxious faces around White Heart Lane and the panicked commentating as the game was called off I go the most frightening feeling, like someone I knew had been struck down. Of course I don’t know him personally nor do I really support either side but when you watch as much football as we do you take for granted that there will be a game and a result and nothing more really will happen – to see someone die (granted he was resuscitated later) on the pitch is one of the most bizarre and frightening football experiences of my life.

As the discussion continued around the braai once the game was called off, one of the intelligent ones (that’s why he’s my co-STMer) brought up the very valid point – ‘why so much concern for him?’

At first I disagreed and couldn’t understand the question really (the fact that it was coupled with Weak Heart Lane didn’t help) but after thinking about it for the last few days and seeing the amount of tributes and support – which I think is absolutely awesome – I started to wonder the same.

In the last week alone we’ve seen gunmen in France mow down school children and teachers, violence erupt in Mali and the chaos in Syria continue. The amount of death and destruction following these is surely far more in need of support than one footballer in hospital? To make matters horrifically worse these are just three of the, literally, thousands of stories that caught the attention of the global news networks.

While I was certainly on the ‘Support Muamba’ campaign and think everyone deserves this kind of support I just cannot believe that we live in a world where atrocities have been going on in Africa and around the world for decades and yet we casually sweep them under the rug and write them off to barbaric regimes but yet the entire world comes out in support of one, relatively small, tragedy.

Somehow as frightening as it was to see a 23 year old lying life less on the football pitch I cant help but wonder where the global voice of support for the millions of men, women and children suffering through all kinds of tragic events is?

What would Jesus do (the religio-less version!)

I like creativity in advertising, I like it when marketers push the boundaries of what’s funny, what’s comfortable and whats interesting – let’s just say it makes me feel like they give a F$#@ about what they are selling.

So, when the uproar of the Red Bull & Jesus advert came up I thought it only fair to discuss it.

I don’t want to take on the argument from a ‘Christian vs the other world religions’ perspective because I don’t think that is actually the point here – I think it’s more about peoples sensitivity.

First I think if you haven’t seen the advert you should have a watch . . .

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfNO99X-218

The question I start asking myself is, is it really necessary to get offended?

I mean the comments I’ve seen on blogs and sites is that it’s “disgraceful”, “blasphemous”, “disgusting” and the list goes on and on. Now I don’t blame the Christians for being over sensitive because I’m pretty sure if that had been any religious character there would have been a similar response (maybe the Muslims slightly more militant and the Jews slightly more understanding – we are used to the abuse) but the question still is why all the issue?

You see we have gotten to a point where everyone is so sensitive about everything that no one is sure of what’s funny and what’s “blasphemy”. Personally I think it’s sad and pathetic to get to the stage where we block out the word ‘God’ in movies but the word ‘cunt’ is fine to air – I think maybe kids should not hear the latter rather than the former (we might have one or two less shows of ’16 and pregnant’)!

In South Africa (for the foreign readers) I think most of us truly believe that the only reason we have managed to integrate our society, without full scale civil war, to the point that we have, is that we all can laugh at ourselves and the stereotypes which portray us. We have let our guards down and realized we can mock ourselves, mock each other and as long as we don’t attack and abuse it can help the process rather than hinder it!

Sometimes I think that if every religion wasn’t so sensitive about itself and could perhaps laugh a little more, we could learn a lot more from each other rather than being in the position now where we find ourselves waiting for something. Anything to upset us so we can attack back!

Now for you idiots who are going to cry at me and say that I’m encouraging abuse, firstly shut up! Secondly you can have tolerance without abuse. You can mock stereotypical behavior, laugh at it and move on – the only way though is to let our guards down, drop the baggage and enjoy when something is funny.

Having said all this I still think the Red Bull ad was SHIT! Not because of Jesus just because it wasn’t funny, so if you want to be angry about something be angry that they used your lord and savior in a commercial that really sucked!

The FACEBOOK IPO and why you will live to see that you are an idiot . . .

About a year ago there was this product called ‘power balance’. I’m sure you remember it, you probably bought one but are too ashamed to admit it now aren’t you?

Well the story of this piece of rubber, made in China and slapped with a hologram sticker, was that it improved everything from your golf swing to your sex life.

Now seeing as both of those are relatively sublime for me (*tips hat to the people who said my last post was narcissistic*) I couldn’t understand how people didn’t realize this was the greatest con the world had ever seen!! It was a piece of rubber that friends bought, then more friends bought, people got them for xmas, gave them to bosses and bought them branded to rejuvenate corporate cultures – you ALL feel like F*@KING IDIOTS now don’t you!

You see this power balance arm band turned out to be exactly what it always was from the start – a piece of rubber made from a mold in China for 3 cents and sold for a packet.

This is kind of how I feel about the Facebook IPO.

I’ve had friends scrambling to try get their piece of the pie that will make them a fortune overnight, I’ve heard stories of Bono making more money off the initial listing than he has off music and while I know that this little website has changed the world forever I think that it’ll be the next power balance given time.

Yes, people will make FORTUNES of this (they did on PB as well), and yes it will take MUCH LONGER to implode than PB, BUT the principle is the same. You see a good marketing strat combined with public appreciation and a simple demonstration (in FBs case it’s the numbers) means that everyone jumps very quickly onto the bandwagon.

You see the FB numbers look outrageously good. Millions of photos, gazillions of likes and trillions of users which makes it as easy to sell to marketers as TIC on the Cape Flats. The truth is though if you ask any marketer what exactly the impact of their FB campaigns are they will have very little REAL idea, yeah they’ll argue it got views and clicks and likes but how many of the FB junkies actually went out and bought something, or at worst did the brand even spike on their overloaded GEN X,Y or Millennial brains? Marketers however will defend this to the absolute death for one reason and one reason alone, EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT and if everyone’s doing it, you don’t want to be the idiot who stands alone, instead you’d rather stand in a crowd of idiots hoping you’re all right!

At some point, someone is going to realize that the website, that by population is the third largest country in the world yet makes less money per person that a Starbucks cashier, is actually the biggest most impressive scam yet. It is nothing more than a nifty place to cyber stalk hot women, inflate your ego by pretending to have millions of friends and to tell as many people as possible when you finally emerge from the horse shit that is your life.

The IPO will go ahead and like most other fads it will be MASSIVE but do yourself a favour, don’t get caught up in the bullshit of it all, don’t praise it as a new religion and don’t worship its god Zuckerberg as if he’s anything more than a geek who got lucky. The candle which is FACEBOOK’s life is burning bright and strong but it will go out and when it does there will be a lot of people left in darkness!

Don’t be a sheep! Live, enjoy, appreciate success but never EVER follow blindly!

How far The ‘Once Great” Liverpool’s soul has fallen!

I may be a little biased due to the fact that this little bastard cost the last African team left in the 2010 soccer world cup their spot because, let’s be honest here, he’s a fucking cheat! I hated him when Manchester United threatened to sign him and I hated him the most when his cheating antics landed themselves at Anfield (a club I respect tremendously – even more so under ‘King Kenny’)

The fact is the man is a VERY good footballer and I suppose as the season went on a bit I started to hate him less for being a cheat and more because of his and Liverpool’s new found success (if you are a football fan you will understand this is a normal and very acceptable hatred of other teams players)

Then one fine winters day Suarez came to Manchester and without question racially abused Patrice Evra (a guy who at his worst is a tough no nonsense footballer) over and over again – the cheating hatred began to come back. Over the coming days video evidence proved the abuse and Suarez was given an eight match ban!

In support his fellow players decided to warm up in Suarez shirts I support of this now proven Nazi! (even King Kenny who I’ve downgraded to a Nazi SS footsoldier)

What I cannot understand is why and how firstly this kind of racism is allowed in football, this coming from me, who wrote an article in ‘defense’ of Sepp Blatters so called racist remarks, and secondly how teammates of this idiot can come out in support of someone who was PROVEN guilty!

Liverpool has been an amazing club for me over the years. It’s had the same tradition, passion, heart and players that I’ve grown to love about the English Premier Leagues great old clubs and this event and more importantly the way the team and club handled it has really put them into a new realm of darkness for me. I understand supporting your players no matter what, but, there really are better ways of handling a situation like this!

Suarez is and always has lived on the edge of the law with football and for top flight players I guess that’s sadly become the norm but to be a proven racist should really mean he now must become a pariah (Darren Scott must have his hands in the air somewhere asking how come he was so vehemently outcast)

The story of a drug mule . . .

This last week saw, probably one of the most controversial things happen to a South African citizen outside of our borders in a long time – Janice Linden was put to death in the People’s Republic of China (in SA you can get shot and killed no prob – it’s just outside our borders we have an issue its seems) for trafficking TIK, of all bloody drugs, three years ago.

The public outcry has been immense. Why didn’t our government intervene? Why didn’t they stop this? This is a human rights violation – where was the UN? The list of questions as to who or what should have been done goes on and on and I suppose if you are a human rights activist I can kind of understand your perspective – I don’t think anyone should be able to decide if someone’s life can be taken from them for whatever reason.

Or do I?

If we look at the world around us, we bitch about human rights but it seems to be more of a reason for us to feel good about ourselves than anything else. We live in a world where human rights are butchered into tiny pieces in pretty much every society across the globe and we want to save a women’s life that was going to pollute thousands of people’s lives with TIK!

Have we lost all shape and form of moral compass?

This person was going to let one of the worst drugs be sold to children across China and we want to blame their government for killing her? If my kids (well my unborn or illegitimate ones at least) were one of her customers I would have killed her myself.

So much bad happens in this world as it currently stands, can we afford to be so lenient on people who want to make it worse just because she wanted to make a quick buck while the rest of us have to battle through life earning it piece by piece.

Talk to me about human rights for a drug dealer when women who are raped, murdered and tortured in the middle east comes to an end, when genocide and child soldiers torn from theirs families in Africa stops and when dictators stop destroying countries by oppressing and massacring their own people. Don’t cry at our government to intervene with their biggest trade partner in the world to ask for mercy for a TIK peddling fiend! WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS!

Now I see every person who thinks I’m being harsh stumble across the words ‘trade partner’ and say “you see they did it for the money”. Now, YOU IDIOTS, if you are a reader you understand my view of our relationship with China (yes – I agreed with locking the Dalai Lama out to make them happy) so if you think I’m going to back down over this you must be buying some of this chicks TIK!

The bottom line is we cry about human rights about someone poisoning the fabric of society yet we go on living in our houses and crinkle our noses at dinner parties saying just how terrible those Chinese are – I say thank goodness someone has the balls to do the right thing.

They run a country that works, end of story, and the reason is they do not have time or effort to care when there should be no leniency given. They make decisions based on fact and in this instance they were absolutely spot-on!

You are just too scared to say it – the world is better off without one more drug dealer!

 

Just who exactly fucked Michael Jackson up?

So finally, today the world has someone to point the finger at for the death of the most talented musician in a generation.

BUT, is it fair?

Since his death we have been scrambling to find some sort of closure and someone to blame for taking the King of Pop so soon and Conrad Murray was the perfect candidate. I mean, he was found guilty in the court of public opinion months ago and the trial was merely a formality really. The dude never stood a chance!

Leading the charge with pitchforks and torches was of course MJ’s family and why shouldn’t they be this evil Dr Kevorkian had stolen their precious Michael, oh the grand canyon of irony. These precious people who sat in the courthouse crying and screaming at the accused about how he had murdered their boy had absconded ALL responsibility for why the man needed rucksacks full of drugs to get some sleep!

I don’t absolve the doctor completely let’s be fair now – he was a fucking idiot after all, he was greedy, he was sloppy, he was arrogant and he was stupid but tell me ANY of these are out of place in any office in Wall Street over the last 5 years? I don’t see any of those ‘summer in the Hamptons’ bastards getting metaphorically lynched by the world? In fact I don’t see any of them in jail for crimes that financially crippled half the world. Justice system? Give me a fucking break people!

Murray was the man’s private in house doctor and he was begged by MJ to give him something to make him sleep. It’s not Murrays fault the only thing that could get the pop star to sleep was a rather strong horse tranquilizer and I really don’t think it’s his fault he gave it to him. Michael was clearly in pain, he was clearly in need of help and his doctor decided to give him what he wanted to ‘help’ him.

If we find a heroin junkie in an ally with his brains blown all over the wall we don’t go out to try prove the guy who sold him the gun is actually a murderer! WE say sad tragedy and MOVE ON! But for, arguably, the globes biggest musical star we needed more – we needed a reason to hold someone responsible, sadly as people when we are sad and frustrated that’s what we generally do and Murray was the easy way out!

The miserable fact is, the reason MJ needed these swimming pools of sedatives were the exact same idiots looking for justice. We know his family as a whole are mildly psychotic and as individuals are downright unplayable! We know his father used to beat the family for most of their lives while in between making them perform relentlessly like circus monkeys for cash.

We know that his mother pushed all of them to their limits as kids when they should have been out kicking a ball and enjoying the freedom that being a child is supposed to be. MJ was a performing genius from so young and for so long that we saw the damage it did to him – he was bombarded with publicity so much that lets be fair he was slightly bonkers.

His family was at the front of every queue for handouts, collaborations and constantly pushing and pulling him in every direction – no wonder the man spent his life paying a doctor a fortune to drug him, if I had his kind of money I’d do the same and I can barely say I’ve dealt with what he had.

At the end of the day the world was heartbroken when we lost MJ for many important reasons but do we really believe it’s fair to send another man to jail for four years because of he gave a neurotic paranoid and sleep deprived pop star some drugs to let him have a few moments of peace and because Murrays own stupidity – I’m not sure we should!

We were sad, angry and shocked and our behavior reminded me of an old story of how you catch a crocodile – you find a lizard and then beat it until it admits it’s a crocodile – Murray was our lizard!

 

Kim K is laughing at YOU!

Let me just clearly state before we start I DON’T GIVE F#@K who this podgy brain dead women fornicates with on / off camera, dates, marries, divorces and the same for her podgier sister and her prettier but more brain dead sister – everyone clear.

Now that I have that out of the way, the below photo is Kim Kardashian laughing AT YOU!

Why, you dare say? Well quite simply because you and your magazine and TV guzzling face continues to make her rich (look she was rich before so you are not a complete moron but you are supporting the habit so you deserve a beating, albeit only verbal!)

I hear you uttering “How?” knowing in the back of your mind you are somehow to blame – well here’s how you idiots! KK, who is basically on a reality show ALL the time (even outside of her stupid shows with her mother and sisters et al). In fact she and a whole host of precious little beauties (Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and the list goes on but the IQ remains close to ZERO!) have managed to successfully turn their lives into reality shows.

However KK must be the smartest of all cause she has tricked millions of people into believing it’s actually real, in fact all of you stayed glued to E watching her ‘relationship’ with some dude (I’m not sure who he is but I’m sure he is in pro sports) unfold and then you went out and bought this!

Then, bless their hearts, OMG they are getting married so you went out and bought a few more . . .

Then sadness, I can’t believe it, she’s already unhappy AND. YOU. BOUGHT. MORE!

 

And finally, shock, out of nowhere they are getting divorced and STILL YOU IGNORAMUS BOUGHT MORE!!

I hope you see what I’m getting at here?

SHE MADE IT ALL UP! You see because I’m guessing she realized after her last ‘relationship’ with what was no doubt another pro athlete, that this is big business. So if just dating a famous guy is huge business then MARRYING one must be even more . . . and my god she was absolutely right!

E news made a fortune, People magazine’s photos and expo on the wedding made a fortune, I’m sure HELLO or OK got in there somewhere and made a fortune and last of all KIM K Made a fortune from all of them (I’m not sure if the players in this theory are correct but they are the usual suspect, if it wasn’t them you can just sub in the names of the magazines sitting in your home currently with her fat face plastered all over the covers!)

You know who didn’t make a fortune?

YOU!

You lost money!

You gave it away so fast you can’t even remember how many hours you spent watching this crap or how much money you spent buying these mags but the fact remains YOU got poor while everyone else got rich.

Now do me a favour and go back to the first photo of Kim K and you tell me HONESTLY . . . is she laughing at you?

The passion runs deep here!

You need to understand two things about my family, firstly we hate to lose! Plain and simple we battle to accept defeat in any form (in fact I’ve failed to write anything on the Boks because the anger wells up too fast and strong) and second we hate being ‘cheated’ out of a win even more!

This is the note I got from my brother who lives on an island in Thailand after the loss with the simple words as a subject I’m STILL ANGRY!

I thought it was a dream this morning, when I woke up, still hazy. This was not some ‘run of the mill,’ petty unfairness, the trickery of school children, a parking ticket, or a passing over; this was a travesty, a mythical deception, a monumental injustice – Brutus slaying Caesar, Jacob deceiving Esau, another Bush being elected to the White House; it was as if Dolos the Greek God of craftiness, treachery and guile was honing his skills at Wellington Regional Stadium in New Zealand yesterday, and his target was the Springboks; just because. I thought as much when I woke up; an impossible fairy tale.

It was the same as my dream in the reports, when I checked the Internet. Australia 11 South Africa 9 – a perverse reversed distress call.

Reality bites, sure, okay, we all know that – but NOT that HARD!

Denial turned to anger. It’s hard to swallow, losing to Australia anytime, never mind LIKE THAT, in a World Cup Quarter Final. This loss covers like an unrepentant fog; it lingers like a fart in a closed, hot, and stuck elevator; it hurts like a kick, with a lead boot, in the balls.

At half time it was Australia 8 South Africa 3, inconceivably if you watched, and had your eyes open. Australia’s points were scored with disdain to conventional rugby wisdom and logic; they were nothing less than miracle points, a try from a mistaken turn over, and a penalty for South African hands supposedly in at the breakdown; fate has nothing if not a sense of irony. It was a tough ask to come back from there. I never gave the Springboks much hope of answering. They did in the second half; they came out like fire and burnt their way back. It was ball in the hand charge the bulkhead type stuff. We won lineouts, and scrums, and attacked, and ran, and scrapped; no respite, no rest, no little grubber kicks to the corner, just wave upon wave of green and gold thunder, hearts on sleeves. This is the Australian team that recently won the Tri Nations. For most of the the second half, they looked exactly the children they are, standing like Goo Goo Dolls, throwing themselves wherever they could, punch drunk, distressed – almost imbecilic. No doubt, they were up against it, that was some of the finest, and most exciting rugby I have ever seen a Springbok team play. It ought to have been, it’s the most capped side in World Cup history. It’s a team full of warriors. It’s a team full of Legends. It showed. They did not let up, not for one second.

We went ahead, deservedly I thought: South Africa 9 Australia 8.

Yes…Now…Score. I’m not sure what kept us out after that, I’m not really sure what kept us out before that; a little knock, a fifty fifty not to hand, an illegal pilfer at the breakdown, a gust of wind, some dark magic sorcery, GOD?

Then ‘another dubious decision’, as a New Zealand writer put it, and a penalty. It’s almost the only time the Aussies touched the ball in the second half, that penalty. ‘Not like this,’ I said, when that little blond faced kid kicked it over. Australia 11 South Africa 9, and that’s how it ended, I don’t know how.

‘Sometimes shit happens that doesn’t make sense,’ said Edward, an Englishman and regular at the Green Man Pub in Phuket where I was watching, as the Aussies celebrated, ‘that’s sports.’ Not gravity defying shit, I wanted to say, but I couldn’t talk, I was too gutted. I can imagine what it must be like for the Springboks. They were there, on that field; they played what we all watched – an annihilation, and now they are coming home. Australia played rugby from minute 11 to minute 17, the rest of the time they just tried to get in the way; tenaciously, I’ll admit. They survived at the breakdown, like rats, cockroaches, and small infestations of some stinking thing; a disease…I go too far, sorry, the bile rose again. It’s just a game, but anyone who loves South Africa, and rugby knows it is more than that.

There is no moral victory over Australia. We lost, and that is it, better to accept, and move on. ‘Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve,’ my mother always says.

The Coach has resigned. It was his only move, the last World Cup, when the team won the whole thing, SARFU or SARU, whatever the paper shufflers are now called, fired him. Must be nice for the Coach to go out on the same day as John Smit, and Victor Matfield; that’s got to make one feel powerful. Man I’m going to miss those guys standing in the tunnel, they’re not irreplaceable, no one is, but it’s close.

Over the next couple of days, the papers might point some fingers, allude to some nonsense, talk about youth, and age, wonder about game plans, some of our own (ego’s, past players, those not a part of it) might take a couple of cheap shots at the players of this team.

Don’t you do it!

Don’t you forget!

In this team were the winners of one Rugby World Cup; two out of South Africa’s three Tri Nations Championships; and all three of South Africa’s Super Rugby Championships. This team has three times been named the IRB World Team of the year. There was nothing old, or tired, or derelict about this team. On the day they were ferocious, they were consistent, they were warriors, they were as good as I’ve ever seen them play,as good as I’ve ever seen any Springbok team play. They were almost perfect. Since early 2004 this team has taken South Africa to the top of world rugby, a place we always laid claim, but never before belonged. For me it’s the greatest rugby team South Africa has ever had. It’s possibly the greatest the rugby world has ever seen. It’s a team full of names we will all remember for a long time. I never thought there was honour in losing, today I think differently.

Hail to all of you, Springboks of Rugby World Cup 2011 from the Beautiful South. I can always find fault, but I can’t fault you. You were magnificent.

PS: I wish I could be there to greet this team when they get home. I hope those who can be there turn up. I think the team might like that. I think after all the good times, they deserve it.

Thanks Paul

Steve Jobs: The world has no idea how much it will miss you sir!

This post is not about readers or comment, its about being able to offer some thanks and some praise in my own personal way to a man i have the highest admiration for and who’s life has tragically ended.

It’s strange to have formed such a complete opinion of another person without ever having met them. This is (I can’t bring myself to say ‘was’ yet) the case with Steve Jobs. I’ve come to realize this in the past daywhile reading the tributes, the letters and the well wishes for Steve and his family.

I’m no Apple junkie, not that I don’t buy every new toy that they make purely because I feel cooler just playing with it, but generally they end up lying around the house after a while (all of em except the iPod – they either live on or get lost cause every time I get a new one it’s like a tenth of the size of the last one!)

THE IPOD EVOLUTION

So, I didn’t ‘drink the cool aid’ and I wouldn’t follow the man off a cliff HOWEVER I have probably listened to every talk he ever gave, read anything he ever wrote or was written about him and sat like a spell bound kid for every hour I sat doing so! Steve was just special like that. He could create things that people hadn’t even thought of yet. He was the absolute epitome of a man who didn’t exist to win, but rather to win by such a margin that the opposition felt insulted for taking part in the same race. He was the Michael Jordan, the Tiger Woods, and the Lionel Messi of whatever he put his mind to and while most people know and love him for his contributions through Apple, the most impressive stuff was before.

BOY GENIUS about to change the world!

In May 1985, Steve was essentially ousted from the company he helped create, to be blunt. Most people would have been devastated, spending the rest of their lives seeking some sort of retribution. He merely dusted himself off, picked up his bike, got back on and started racing a new race, as if all along he knew this was part of the plan. He started a company called NeXT developing technologies (most of which are used in Apple products today). From NeXT to Pixar where he gave the world a new (well not new but basically revolutionized) medium for animated full length movies. What I’ve summed up in two sentences most men would not come close to accomplishing in 10 lifetimes, Steve did it in a matter of years.

When the Apple board basically came crawling back, Steve regained his rightful place at the head of the company he once fashioned but this time he was not in it to compete with the world, he was in it to obliterate them. Consumers like me and you were merely the beneficiaries of the bi-products we know as Macs, iPhones, iPod’s & iPad’s. Steve managed to make us all feel like kids on xmas morning when he got up onto stage and he knew exactly how to work it, he was perhaps one of the greatest communicators of ideas (while actually removing your credit card to purchase them simultaneously) I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing and like any legend of his time he will not be replaced easily if at all.

It was almost as if Steve held on to see one last launch, one last glint of excitement in everyone’s eyes before he passed away – hopefully he felt at ease with who he had left his magnificent legacy to.

The world has no idea what it loses when it loses a true visionary. The graph of human progression angles ever so slightly lower now, we may still get there but certainly not as fast as if we had Steve steering the ship. The world is a poorer place without a man like Steve Jobs, but unlike most, he left us a legacy that’s in almost every man woman and child’s hands, ears and desks. So often he gave us a gift of the future but without him the portal seems to be closed and we will have to be content with mere mortals and average progression for a while.

I will leave you with a clip you have probably seen, if you haven’t however, I assure you, listening to this man tell his ‘simple’ story to a graduating Harvard class will make you truly understand why today, the whole world should mourn the loss of a modern day legend!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

Dolphin Unfriendly

There’s a town in Japan called Taiji where every year thousands of dolphins are herded into a closed bay. Some are abducted to spend the rest of their lives performing tricks in aquariums across the globe for the entertainment of stupid people. Those that don’t make the cut, get cut. They’re taken into a cove and brutally stabbed to death. The water turns from blue to red while injured animals try in vain to escape. Instead of a path to the open ocean they’re met with nets, boats, harpoons and ultimately a slow and painful death. This was the horror that the documentary, The Cove, was based on.

The dolphins end up being a source of meat for many people and in the process a source a huge amounts of mercury. Poison. I have no sympathy for these people. What’s also odd, and perhaps linked to the fact that mercury causes brain damage is the view that dolphins are a pest because they eat large amounts of fish, depleting fish stocks for human consumption. They’re dolphins for fuck’s sake! – they eat fish in what should be a balanced ecosystem. We are the ones depleting fish stocks.

The reason for this post is that tomorrow, the beginning of September, is when this barbaric event begins. It makes me angry and I’m not sure what I can do about it. You may feel the same way, so get angry, make a noise, donate, volunteer if you can, but do something. I hope that one day we can look back at this as one of those absurd things people used to do. Not because there aren’t anymore dolphins but because there’s a greater empathy for all life.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxVvlehmOIM

Join the awareness on Facebook or follow on Twitter

My AMY WINEHOUSE story . . .

So what’s my story?

Well really I’m not sure, I wasn’t a massive Amy fan while she was alive and I certainly am not rushing out to buy up as much AW merchandise as I can now that she’s dead but after the brain dead comments that filled social media like “She should have gone to rehab” and “She should have said YES YES YES!” I thought it responsible to write this!

Genius seldom comes along in this world, in fact I’ve been up close and personal with it only a handful of times in my life. Genius is limitless and cannot be held back. When you encounter it you are blown away by the sheer possibility that lies within that person. You feed off their energy like a never ending battery and your own possibilities start to feel endless. You are inspired merely being in the same room as it.

That’s my definition of genius, that’s my experience with genius!

Most genius (creative that is) is tortured genius, it battles to come to terms with its time and its place in this very ‘left brain’ world and as a result far too often it ends long before it reaches its full potential!

Amy Winehouse was a genius. She was one of the most talented singer-songwriters we have ever seen or heard and song after song she blew us away. As I said I was never the biggest AW fan but even I could admit she had one of the most talented musical minds and one of the most soulful, powerful and moving voices I have ever heard.

Her tortured soul could no better be seen by a simple Google images search and the revelation of the many faces of Amy!

This is true tortured genius and these are the faces of an artist battling to express herself in a world that hunts talents, exposes it and exploits it for any scrap of gain possible while concurrently destroying it!

Love her or hate her,  (yes it’s a shit cliché) you have to acknowledge her talent, you have to accept the world is a less talented place without her and most importantly don’t show your stupidity by adding your brainless comments to a social media world for you and your friends to giggle at.

No one’s death should be laughed at, least of all someone who has added more to the world than 90% of humanity ever will.

Just sit back and listen to these two clips of a simple singer sitting on a couch with an instrument, creating magic!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqSKVv6YO8g

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N87RTDc1WI