Its Friday so just sit back and enjoy . . .

Sometimes this city overwhelms me and my brain goes into safe mode. Thankfully this normally only happens on a Friday!

So today there will be no intelligent in-depth posts because sometimes it is important to switch off and revert back to caveman software and enjoy beauty in the female and automotive form.

 . . . and now for something completely different!

Happy weekend STMers!

 

Fridays GIFt . . .

We know this week has been a little poor in terms on content but we promise next week we will try be a little more focussed!

Until then here are a few little GIFs from around the universe to make you smile . . .

Cause sometimes you just need to smash a boob in your face!

Chameleons and their water . . .
This immediately led to Shakira’s pregnancy!
Wait for it . . . . aaaawwwww!
Enjoy the weekend everybody!!

A touch of greatness: Mr John Cleese

I don’t like to throw around words like genius, legend and greatness very often. I don’t believe that those words should be tarnished by being used on ordinary events or people. They should be saved for those who have accomplished dreams, changed the world and reached the pinnacle of success.

In fact I think I’ve only used those words to describe a handful of things in the past few years – Steve Jobs after his death, Amy Winehouse after hers, Lance Armstrong after his doping scandal, U2 after coming to SA and the Springbok rugby team after winning the world cup (Lions series, tri nations and so on) – NOT BAD COMPANY TO KEEP!

Last night I got as close as most people ever get to true greatness. I got to watch the legend, John Cleese, who basically paved the way for British (the only funny kind of) comedy!

I got to listen to him narrate his own life and the turns it took through boring English schooling, onto a fluke start into ‘show business’ and then morphing into perhaps one of the greatest comedy pioneering careers of all time with Monty Python, Faulty Towers and then movies, A fish called Wanda and Fierce Creatures and most recently (which he didn’t go into) the brilliant portrayal of Q in James Bond, to name but a few.

I cannot express to you the comedy greatness and ‘balls’ for lack of a better word, it must have taken in those days to create something as daring and outrageous as this (seriously has to be one of the finniest things I’ve ever seen) . . .

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218

His story goes that he and his wife at the time, Connie Booth were staying at a small hotel by the British seaside and got the inspiration from the hotel and its owners to write a series. The audience quickly asked the question, why they didn’t write anything else together, to which Cleese quickly responded “We didn’t think we could write anything funnier!”

Too true sir!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIVDx-8kWZo

Finally into the movie world and what I suppose the kids know him best for (or rather know him at all for, sadly enough) the epically funny Fish Called Wanda or Fierce creatures.

I think though, one of the moments that best expresses the man, his ability and the bonds he formed through comedy is perhaps his speech at Graham Chapman’s funeral. A man he had been best friends, colleagues and writers with for decades, and this was his eulogy . . .

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsHk9WC7fnQ

The man is comedy greatness, from start to finish and what you may not deem as daring and brave because your brain has been so diluted by over exposure to porn, murder and violence

 

It’s a pic dump…

There was a post the other day that made mention of Facebook being the largest photo library in the world. In my small universe of Facebook connections it seems like today was a particularly active picture day.

They may not be photos but pictures/photos; potatoes/tomatoes – you get the… picture. To end my rambling I’ll share some of these images. Some funny, some thought provoking and some a mindless collection of coloured pixels that don’t really cause any chemical reaction in the brain.

Sorry for the poor picture quality – Facebook clearly has the largest library of low res images.

You wanted proof of Karma . . .

I often find myself wondering if there is some form of Karma in the universe and most especially when it comes to those who inflict cruelty on animals. Reason being is that humans generally should be able to handle themselves but when it comes to animals – the universe has gotta pitch in a bit!

I was sent this clip by a wine genius and I’m not sure where he came upon it as I’m pretty sure he dedicates very little of his life to Green Peace but never the less it classic!

Somewhere in the middle of some African jungle these idiots thought they would have a laugh taunting and mocking a defenseless little animal that ends up literally having the last laugh (yes I know that was poor and clichéd but just watch the damn video!)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhxqIITtTtU

Are you ready for the rapture?

This is big news. Bigger than the local elections, in which it seems like good old Auntie Helen is doing rather well. If you weren’t aware, the 21st of May 2011 is the end of the world as we know it. Yip, that’s right, Saturday’s the rapture. That’s according to Harold Camping, the evangelical media boss whose radio broadcasts, Family Radio, are transmitted globally in 48 languages. And I’d imagine that broadcasting in 48 languages means there are a lot of stupid idiots gullible people out there who believe in Camping’s version of numerology that’s based on the bible (which may or may not be fiction) and apparently works out the length of time it takes Christ to pay for our sins until we’re all saved.

Out of all this craziness comes a story of opportunity. A story of a bunch of people providing comfort to the feeble minded at the end of days. I mean what happens to your pets that don’t have the ability to believe in the saviour? It must be rather heart-breaking to think that Fluffy won’t be cared for after the 2nd coming. Well it doesn’t need to be, as there are a number of caring atheists who will happily look after your pets when you’re chilling somewhere in heaven and they’re left behind on a less populated planet (success!) with your lonely pets. How can you put a price on this? After all, your dollah isn’t important where you’re going.

A quick search found a couple of these services – Eternal Earth Bound Pets, Post Rapture Pets, After the Rapture Pet Care… I’m sure there are more. I’m at a loss for words…

Have a great weekend – not sure about you, but we’ll still be around next week.

From here.

The swear jar.

There are very few words better than “Fuck”! It’s one of those words that without really having much meaning anymore can be so descriptive. And it feels really good to say. It’s a pity its use isn’t always an acceptable societal norm. Fuck. Anyway, here’s a very cool ad out of the Budweiser stable (pity their beer isn’t as good as their advertising) that embraces the word.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifjMgEWDoWQ

Seen first here – thanks Jo

Mmmmmmilk…

I find the idea of breast feeding rather grotesque. I get that it’s natural and something that the bulk of us have sucked on, but the thought of drinking large quantities of another human’s bodily fluids doesn’t sit so well. And on the “natural” thing, let’s not kid, we don’t exactly live as nature intended.

My view on this might not be widely shared but when it comes to breast milk ice cream, I’m sure most will think it’s a little odd. It’s also a little odd that even with my aversion to the idea of sucking tit milk, I’m still a little curious to try the concoction.

When a well-stocked ice cream parlour says they sell every flavour, there are usually limits.

But one restaurant in London is selling breast milk ice cream which is being served to customers in a cocktail glass.

Icecreamists, based in Covent Garden, have named the £14 dish Baby Gaga.

Victoria Hiley, 35, from Leeds provided the first 30 fluid ounces of milk which was enough to make the first 50 servings.

But the company are looking for more women to provide breast milk – and are providing £15 for every ten ounces extracted using breast pumps.

The recipe blends breast milk with Madagascan vanilla pods and lemon zest, which is then freshly churned into ice cream.


Read the rest here.

Makes me think of the movie Grown Ups which was surprisingly funnier than expected.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypd2DzWY6Is

Following on then . . .

If you didnt read our rant about dear Stevie Hofmeyer THEN PLEASE DO! Not for any other reason than i want as many people to read it as possible because its very true!

But following on from it, it seems we are not alone! The genius that is Zapiro understands quite clearly the message we are trying to get across here! The only difference is while i take a whole ranting page he can sum it up in just one picture!

David Thorne again…

Actual e-mail correspondence or pure fiction? Not sure, but either way, David Thorne can be pretty damn funny (in an annoying kind of way). Whether or not this particular one is real, it highlights how easily a bad customer experience can spread on the interweb, and in a far worse way than the likes of HelloPeter *spit*.

From: anton@function4sports.com
Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Advertisement

I received the attached advertisement from a friend who follows you on twitter or something. If this was some kind of joke I fail to see the humor. We had over 5000 calls asking for free snowboards and I know you are responsible.

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 12.26pm
To: anton@function4sports.com
Subject: Re: Advertisement

Dear Anton,

Thank you for your email. I have been called many things while staying in the US, including ‘foggot’ and ‘youreonthewrongsideoftheroadmoron’, but having recently seen my first snowfall and immediately heading out to spend several hundred dollars on snowsurfing equipment, I hardly think the label ‘responsible’ is justified.

Contrary to popular belief, there is not a lot of snow in Australia and I recently discovered two facts;

1. Snow is cold and;
2. Coming from a climate where the coldest winter demands only complaining slightly less about how hot it is, I am ill-equipped for fact 1.

Unfortunately, these discoveries were made half way up a ski-lift while dressed in jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt and soaking wet rental boots in minus twelve degree weather. Reaching the summit and finding myself unable to feel my extremities or bend back into a standing position, I simply rolled off the lift chair and slid down the embankment on my side before coming to a stop helped by a small group of children. After assuring the parents that kids get nose bleeds all the time and it was probably more to do with the altitude than my left elbow, I decided to forego that morning’s activities, walk down the hill, and sit in my vehicle with the heater on while researching local snow-apparel shops on my iPhone.

Arriving at your store a short time later, I explained to a salesperson that I required warm clothing and “a pair of waterproof gloves for use in the snow.” Based on his brand recommendation and assurance that they would perform in the manner required, I purchased a pair of 180’s snow gloves, along with several other items of snow related clothing, and ventured back to the slopes.
Assuming the gloves would be waterproof for use in the snow (possibly due to being told “these are waterproof gloves for use in the snow”) I was surprised to find they became soaked within seconds and bled black ink down my sleeves and all over the front of my jacket.

Returning to the store immediately, brandishing both the result and receipt, I politely stated that I was not seeking compensation for the ruined jacket, just simply wished to exchange the gloves for a pair not designed to destroy everything they come into contact with.

I was told, “Fuck off. You’ve worn them.”

Being that customer service is arguably a company’s most valuable asset, I assumed you would appreciate all the free marketing and promotional help you could get.

Regards, David.

Read the rest…

Im on my GAP YA!

‘Gap Ya’ or as it’s known to anyone other than the Poms – GAP YEAR is the powerful year after school that most kids to use under the guise of travelling, learning and finding themselves to get absolutely wasted in exotic locations around the world!

I wasn’t allowed the joy of ‘the gap ya’ which probably makes me slightly bitter and resentful but from what I can tell the year is used for everything except learning (which I agree is certainly not a waste of time in fact I’ve spent most of my time trying to make up for the lost hedonistic year)

The only thing that annoys the hell out of me is the constant story telling of how the gap year was used to get inebriated and then chunder in the most arbitrary places – just check out below . . .

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKFjWR7X5dU

I see you driving round town with the girl i love and I’m like . . .

Its not often that someone signing a version of a song is funny – let alone hilarious!

I love this song!

Not the shit ‘forget you’ edited version they keep murdering (as they do with every song) on 5FM but this beautifully expressive no holes barred version and to watch someone sign this kind of emotion out is just sensational!

(I suppose if you were to drive in Joburg everyday you would see most of these actions just without the soundtrack)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oseH9dErZLM&feature=player_embedded

Via Lize Kay