Vagina Hero is a fake Guitar Hero knockoff centered around pleasuring a woman’s Thingy McThingThing. It’s not even a fake game as much as a couple pictures and an article. Still, I know how some of you have never seen one before, so I figured I’d go ahead and post it. That’s pretty much it right there. There’s lots of crazy colors and shit and round button-y things. Ladies, back me up. I have too seen one!

The stages in Vagina Hero are women, much like the individual songs in previous Hero games released by a completely different publisher that is in no way related to Arctivision. There is no background or story explaining how you suddenly find yourself with a naked vagina in your face — the stage loads up and it’s just there.
Classy 70′s-style bow-chika-wow-wow starts playing, and you find your screen assaulted with colored button-press indicators called “E-Zones”. The E-Zones (or “EZ’s”) correspond to the same colored buttons on your Vagina Hero controller, dubbed “HodgePodge”. Why HodgePodge?

It’s a well-known fact that dogs can be conversation starters that help break the ice with people their owners meet. Taking the notion a step further, a new collar tag from Boston-based SNIF Labs lets pet owners forge new connections with fellow dog-walkers, both online and off.

Available in a range of colours and patterns, the SNIF Tag is a small RFID device that attaches to a dog’s collar and records his or her daily movements and social encounters. On the social side, each SNIF Tag emits a unique signal that is sensed by the SNIF Tags worn by other dogs. When Fido meets such tag-bearing playmates during a jaunt to the park, his collar stores that information and later uploads it automatically into the accompanying base station, which stays plugged into the owner’s PC at home. The dog’s owner can then log in to view the profiles of the owners of those other dogs and decide if they want to connect online as well. In addition to monitoring social interactions, the SNIF Tag also uses an accelerometer and motion-analysis software to record a pet’s activity. Owners can monitor the dog’s movements in real time while he’s home but they’re at work, for example; alternatively, when Fido is out with the walker, information on his activities will be automatically uploaded when he returns. Activity levels can be reviewed by the hour, day or month, and owners can compare them with those of the other SNIF Tag-wearing dogs in the neighbourhood. The SNIF Tag Starter Kit is priced at USD 299, which includes one year of web services; thereafter, premium features on the SNIF Tag website are USD 89 per year.

Where is the line that separates the online and offline worlds? Answer: It’s disappearing. More on that in trendwatching.com’s OFF=ON briefing. Go fetch—and be inspired! (Related: Connecting online & off with RFID for the masses — Dating cards fuse physical & virtual connections — T-shirts that talk code.)

Website: www.sniftag.com

poster, romance, scarlett johansson

HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

$450,000 Watch Features Real Moon Dust

The DNA Moon Dust Watch from Geneva watchmaker Romain Jerome was created to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing is limited to a not-so-limited edition of 1,969 (get it, because of the year?).

‘The case of the watch is made with steel melted with fragments of the Apollo 11.

‘The dial and face is made from minerals that include real dust from the moon – this is a world first. The moon dust had been melted into it.

Each piece will run between $15,000 and $450,000, depending on the amount of moon dust (cheap bastards didn’t even use cheese) and Apollo metal included. Some of the straps are even made from the fibers of a spaceshit!

The name of the Springbok rugby team and the emblem can stay, but the King Protea has to appear on the left-hand side, ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe confirmed.

Mantashe repeated the solution proposed by the minister of sport and recreation Makhenkesi Stofile at a news conference at Luthuli House on Monday.

He referred to the Bok issue as an example of where a solution was found after a public debate.

“When they talk about destroying the Springbok emblem, I say the country’s emblem, which is the King Protea, should appear on the left-hand side. You can have the Springbok on the right, on your arm, your shorts or anywhere else,” he said.

“It is the commercial trademark of the Springboks. That’s fine. You can call the team the Springboks as you call the Australian rugby team the Wallabies.”

Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, EVER

Scientists at the University of Zurich have developed a material that never gets wet. Even if you play romantic music and kiss it tenderly.

The fabric is constructed of polyester fibers that are covered in a layer of 40-nanometer-wide silicone nanofilaments. These nanofilaments are spiky and cause water to sit in a sphere above the fabric, a permanent pocket of air protected safely below.

The material even reduces drag in water by 20%! I have no idea what sort of implications that has, but I think it’s something to do with waterproof sheets.

If picking out a gift for your girl makes you sweat harder than an auto exec sitting in front of Congress, you’ll want to get some help from GiftGirl.com.

Started by style consultant Jean Vouté Pratt, the site guides you to the perfect gift for your girl with minimal pain. Or any wasted brainpower. All you do is pick the occasion, select the amount of coin you want to spend, then choose the relationship type and her personality and style, and the site does the rest. You’ll get suggestions for the perfect gift, in several categories like Clothing, Jewelry, Accessories, Gourmet, and Travel & Spa.

GiftGirl doesn’t take ads or sponsors – there’s a small fee to access the info and buy the gifts suggested – so they aren’t pushing any particular product, just making you look good by getting her something incredible she’ll want… that shows some thought. (Even though the site does all the thinking for you.)

The Carbon Motors E7 is a new police cruiser that addresses safety and performance issues neglected due to the current practice of retrofitting Crown Victorias/Impalas.

Right now fire departments, emergency medical technicians, the military, and even mail carriers all use vehicles built specifically for them. But the country’s 800,000 law enforcement first-responders drive dangerously retrofitted family sedans.

The E7 is being hailed as THE purpose-built vehicle for police officers. It was designed to jump curbs, safely detain criminals, be fuel efficient (40% more than current cruisers), and detect biological, chemical and radiation threats. In total, it has over 100 new features specifically requested by officers. Unfortunately, not a single one is a cup holder in the back.

We’ve written about billboards that whisper and billboards that even talk back, but not until recently had we heard of billboards that give out free love. Sure enough, though, the outdoor outfitters at Austrian Northland Professional recently kicked off a campaign through which billboards give away free merchandise.

Beginning early this month, Northland has been affixing samples of its caps, gloves and scarves on roughly 50 billboards throughout the city of Graz. About 20 items are attached to each eye-catching billboard—for a total of about 1,000 in all—and the effort is repeated every other day. A video on the company’s site shows consumers going to considerable lengths to get the items down. The EUR 35,000 campaign will run through the end of November, Northland says.

Besides free love, of course, Northland’s concept also gives the lucky passers-by who snag a free accessory the chance to try it out and tell everyone they know how it came to be theirs. Free love is always a winner all around, but when you add some tryvertising and status stories to the mix? That’s a combination few consumers will be able to resist.

Chrome Bugatti Veyron

There’s one bright spot as the economy tanks and people continue to lose jobs like the Lions lose games: the super-rich have another obnoxiously expensive toy to blow money on. Forget the off-the-rack $1.4 million Bugatti Veyron. That’s for shoemakers. For the truly wealthy I give you the fully-chromed Bugatti Veyron. Think Terminator T-1000 on wheels.

Now you can display your supreme wealth to the world while simultaneously blinding mere mortals with the glare off the hood of this shiny beast as you roll down the highway. On your way to foreclose on an orphanage.

TOP 10 MANLY CARS

No.8 - Cadillac Eldorado

1953-2002

In the late 1960s, having a new Cadillac was a symbol of success, but not coolness. That changed when the division made Eldorado, a very distinct model instead of a premium trim level on the parade floats. This manly personal coupe wasn’t meek, but its sizable proportions were neat and purposeful, managing to look more sophisticated than other models and more appealing to younger male buyers. Sadly, it was short-lived. The Detroit Way of the era led to a bloated redesign of the Eldo for 1971, introducing the pimpmobile look and causing a drought of manly cars for the automaker that has only recently been addressed.

No.6 - Lamborghini Countach

1974-1990

Few manly cars have a silhouette you’d recognize immediately. Of those few, there’s arguably none more unique than the Countach. If a poster of this manly car wasn’t on your bedroom wall when you were younger, something had to be amiss. If this manly car didn’t stir the testosterone pot, you were probably devoid of a pulse. To this day, the Countach is an uncompromising, temperamental brute with a “screw you” attitude. You’d better do everything just right when you’re stuffed behind the wheel or things could get very ugly very quickly. Somewhere along the way, you realize the bull in the emblem is apt, and you’re just the matador with a fine line of uncertain control.

A kitten was born in Australia on Wednesday with two faces. It is super cute and made me wish all pets had more faces. But then I realized how expensive it would be to feed all those extra faces, and decided it wasn’t so awesome afer all.

The two-faced feline was one of three in a litter and appears to be doing well.It hasn’t got a name yet, but the owner is thinking of calling it Quasi Modo, according to local news Web site inmycommunity.com.au.

Yeah, Quasi Modo, that won’t fuck it up for life. You might as well saw off a couple legs and name it Cripples.

A closeup after the jump.

Two-Faced Kitten Born in Australia [foxnews]

This is the world’s worst cookbook. It’s called Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes. I just puked in my mouth a little.

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!

The 61-page cookbook costs $25 and looks like a joke. So I put one in my shopping cart and proceeded to the checkout waiting for some sort of April Fool’s notification. Nope, I just ordered a jizz cookbook.