So JHB is going to be the first place in SA to hit Spring properly! So for all you coastal bastards – SUCK IT (im just angry cause I have to head back to the Cape for the week and I miss JHBs perfect sunny spell)!

Never-the-less in honour of this perfect occasion we have decided to show you the greatest places on earth to spend the first day of Spring!

Golden Triangle Resort, Thailand

And if you think this is the best part of the hotel is suggest you CLICK HERE if you have some disposable income – if you dont just carry on reading and get a box of tissues for the pain!

Sheraton Waikiki, Hawaii

Again depending on your level of spending power you should definitely CLICK HERE to see the hotel where this is shot – even if you cant do it just for a few minutes open the windows in your house / office whatever – smell the perfect Spring air (if you are in JHB) and imagine you are in this place!

Rangali Island - Maldives

Now so far we’ve been playing but seriously a beach villa in this place may actually be the best place to spend Spring (JUST GO LOOK!)

Check out the rest of the perfection of Spring pics? Via Izismile

If we have in any way depressed you because you are not going to spend tomorrow in any of these perfect locations – DONT STRESS – most of them are northern hemisphere and they will be absolutely CRAP tomorrow as well as CAPE TOWN and you have a full six months to get your shit together and get on a  plane!

The Westcliffe Hotel played host last night to the many tasters of Macallan Whiskey – after a lengthy evening of superb 10, 12, 15 & finally 18 years it leaves me with a very dry mouth and sore head but very well worth it!

Thanks to the boys from Macallan and thanks to the team at the Westcliffe – absolute stunner of an evening and as i said to someone this morning its worth the pain im feeling and that doesnt happen often!

There are few things that make us happier than extremely wealthy people flashing their cash about in an obnoxious manner and getting beaten for it – now the Qatari Royals just bought Harrods (well cause they can) and as you do – fly over your fleet of supercars to go and check it out – oh and of course they must be in your colours!

I would love to see the argument with the local traffic officer when they get out of their meeting! Good job Londons finest – CLAMP THOSE PRISSY BASTARDS!

The other day the super-rich royals arrived to check out their new acquisition in a fleet of exotic supercars, all painted the family’s signature shade of turquoise. However, while inside the posh retail palace the London police slapped clamps on the illegally parked rides. Spotted by London’s Daily Mail with the unsightly locks on their wheels was aLamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SuperVeloce, valued at about $550,000 (above left) and a bespoke specification Koenigsegg CCXR (above right), one of only six in the world, worth about $2 million. To get the vehicles unlocked the scofflaw sheikhs had to pay a release fee of £70 plus a fine of between £40 – £120 and complete a set of paperwork for each car.

55 storeys up, this infinity pool could glide you straight over the edge of Singapore, if not the world. It’s part of the $6 billion Marina Bay Sands Skypark hotel, which just opened this week.The pool itself is three times the length of an Olympic-sized pool, and is the largest pool in the world at that height reportedly.

As always these boys never fail to deliver . . .

If you are looking for a cool thing to put into your cigar lounge at home to hide your Monte Christos that Fidel Castro gave you for xmas last year – then look no further – STM has gone our and found the best thing for your . . .

In 1925 Louis Vuitton created a special trunk in its iconic monogram canvas to house a portable set of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica for the traveling scholar. A later owner adapted the rare item to a more practical purpose, turning it into the world’s most stylish portable humidor. The trunk was professionally refitted to house 500 cigars in removable boxes lined with seasoned Spanish cedar along with a removable humidor in burled American walnut. The lid of the trunk has been lined in Spanish cedar as well and inset with decorative burled walnut panels. London‘s Pullman Gallery is now offering the one-of-a-kind piece for $27,800.

An e-mail is going around about a drug bust where they uncovered a SH!TLOAD of cash at the dealer’s house. Besides the fact that you could spend the rest of your life only getting affection from Bubba and that you may ruin some lives along the way (unless you’re just selling weed, which is actually a good deed – crazy rhyme that!), this is great business. You’ll notice I struggled to categorize this piece…

Random fact: Apparently $1m worth of $100 bills weighs 17kgs.

Thanks Garth

Especially when we’re talking about a 1920′s steam yacht that could be yours for a cool $70m. Tiffany & Co interior, accommodation for 26 guests, cinema, salon, pool and a whole bunch of other cool features would make for quite a stylish cruise.

Thanks Kyle

Development: One Hyde Park
Cost: £100 million
Cost per m²: R550 000
Cool feature: Bullet proof walls and windows

More details…

This is incredibly cool. After cruising the coastline off the south of France you can get the adrenalin flowing with the Caterham on some twisty country roads. Only problem is finding a jetty that allows you to get the car off the boat.

The Sunseeker Predator

Thanks Kyle

Fractional ownership yacht company YachtPlus has recently launched the Ocean Emerald, a 41m superyacht designed by Lord Norman Foster. A crew of 7 are on hand to tend to all the needs of the 12 guests who can enjoy almost any luxury you could conceive. For a once off fee of roughly R20m and a annual service charge of R2.2m you can own a 1/8th share of this yacht, which entitles you to 30 nights per year on board. Anyone for a trip to the Med or the Caribbean? Visit the website for more details.

Champagnes and sparkling wines

To set the record straight, the Italians call their versions of champagne spumante or prosecco, while Spaniards refer to the heavenly syrup as cava (which, as you can infer means “cellar” in the northwest Catalan region, where the bulk of it is produced).

Understanding the label

The labels on bottles of bubbly explain the following attributes of whatever’s inside:

• the sweetness of the wine
• the age of the wine
• the grapes used to make the wine

As with anything else, the lingo really counts here. So here are some buzzwords that you should be on top of. Let’s start with the words that describe the sweetness of the champagne.

Brut

In this context, “brut” is not what your lovely woman calls you after you fail to clean up after your friends on New Year’s Day. The more “brut” a wine, the drier it is. If you are asking yourself how much of a brut you are, think of what kind of white wine you prefer: crisp and dry to go with fish, or a fruity and sweet one to have as a predrink or along with dessert. If you care to try a good example of brut champagne, get your hands on a Medot Champagne Brut from France.

Demi-sec

Demi-sec does not mean “half-dry” as the name implies. Rather it means that the wine is actually sweet. Logical, no? So if someone asks you to bring something to drink along with dessert, bring a demi-sec. Try a Laurent Perrier Demi-Sec.

Want to know more?

Fetishes might be too naughty a term. “Romance preferences” might be a better choice. And the rich folk of the world get to indulge. Sure, we’ve all dreamed about having deep pockets and piles of cash – because it means access to “gettin’ it on like a millionaire.” But we also live in the real world of dinner alone at Subway and sex with the lights off once a month.

The richies are certainly just like us in that they like their romancin’ to have a little kinky spice, except they can actually afford the sprinkle of Mrs. Sex Dash.  We decided to poll some wealthy blokes about their sexual cravings — except we don’t know any wealthy guys, so we polled our boss and the slightly abrasive homeless man outside of IHOP. When most of their answers contained unicorns and someone playing the cello while operating the bedroom camcorder, we decided to cast a wider net for our poll.

After an exhaustive global interview process focusing on the fetish fun of the wealthy, we’re now ready to break down the kinky ways of the rich Mack Daddy.

Exclusive Nude Beaches

There’s a weird tugging deep inside all of us that wants to be naked in public with other naked people. Sure, nude beaches are all around the globe, but sometimes the rich people want to let it hang with only the pretty people.  And who can blame them? There are exclusive sections of nude beaches (mostly in Europe, of course) where only non-fat/non-ugly/non-ancient people can pay top dollar to strip down and enjoy a romantic day in the sand. We’re not positive what the policy is about getting cozy with your gal while on said naked beach, but since everyone is rich, beautiful, and nude, we’re pretty sure the rules are flexible. Let this be a lesson to you Kids: with a little hard work and a lot cheating your way through school, you can buy a spot on a nude beach without having to see naked fat people.

Line to use when you become rich: “The best nude beach is Swanbourne Beach in Perth, Australia, but France will have to do for now.”

Doing It on the Big Screen

It’s a rich person’s sex tape…the larger-than-life version. This isn’t some XTube excursion for the 8 Mile crowd, this is a full blown (no pun intended) theatrical production. Apparently some wealthy peeps don’t want to be bothered with the hassle of ‘manning’ their own video camera while recording their own Ray J/Kim Kardashian cinematic masterpiece, so they hire out. You can get a professional videographer to do your sex tape, and the package (hehe) comes with a couple of cameras on tri-pods (God, this just writes itself) and an actual theater-sized screen. The wealth rats usually have a room large enough to accommodate the ‘production’, and on some occasions, they do a drive-in theater version in their backyard. Oh, to be The Donald.

Line to use when you become rich: “On camera, everything looks bigger. Except I really am that well-endowed.”

Shared Room Groovin’

It’s not an orgy situation and there is not someone else participating in their naked romanticizing. There is, however, another couple in the room doing exactly what they are doing. In an attempt to satisfy a fantasy without actually satisfying the real fantasy, rich people have taken to paying top dollar to do the horizontal tango in the proximity of another couple. We’re not sure of the appeal — okay, not sure of the appeal for the chicks involved – but these escapades are becoming more and more common. Rumor has it couples are even hiring themselves out for such evenings. Is that legal? If you are rich, then yes.

Line to use when you become rich: “Come on, Motel 6 even has HBO!”

Mile High Club

Anyone with some frequent flier miles or access to Jet Blue discounts could join the Mile High Club, but 99.9% of them do not. There are obvious reasons, such as nosy stewardesses, cramped bathrooms, and getting your significant other to go along with the plan.  However, living the high life can take all the hard work out of knocking boots 35,000 feet up. Paris Hilton did it. Having a private jet allows you the room to, um, maneuver, and gives you the authority to tell the flight attendant to F-off. Or join in, if that’s your bag.

Line to use when you become rich: “How’d you like to have a lay-over in the sky?”

Key Party

Yes, Kids, this does happen. It doesn’t happen in the working class communities or trailer parks, but it happens in the lives of bored, uber-wealthy, sexually-starved Americans. We all know the premise: Every man that attends the party drops their keys into a bucket. Then the women draw a set of keys out of the bucket without looking.  The idea is, the keys unlock the pants of the man that owns the keys. Yes, it’s a swinger-sort-of deal. And yes, rich people usually only associate with attractive people that like to drink a lot, so it’s a win-win for them. We’re not condoning such a party, but this is another bonus to being rich. Okay, yes, we condone it.

Line to use when you become rich: “Hey, those are my keys. Guess we get to have sex now!”

The Car Crash Thing

The clinical term is Symphorophilia, but we call it rich-nerd-hot.  There is a subculture out there that gets there rocks off on cars crashing and ‘making it’ in the twisted wreckage afterwards. David Cronenberg made a movie about it in 1996, but the film did not delve into the reality of who really participates in this activity: the mega-rich. The wealthy can afford to buy two clunkers to crash head-on and the crew to set it up. You can’t. Not that you’d be in to navigating your way around the steering wheel now jammed into the back seat.

Line to use when you become rich: “Sure, it’s totaled, but at least the radio still works.”