This little guy is at 40 smokes a day and he’s only two. His old man gave him his first ciggie at 18 months and now he feels dizzy and sick if he doesn’t get his fix. What a great dad!

Why is it that fat kids are so cute? Even with a Camel Filter in the mouth.

From here.

We recently wrote about bacon beer and vodka. Someone out there likes the salty pig so much they decided to make shoes that look like bacon. Not ideal.

I did a search for “the South African cricket team” and came across how not to do things in sport. There were also a number of ads for pies.

Other You’re doing it wrong topics are coming up.

In the right combination, these things can lead to immaculate conception.

Apparently.

No one really digs having to clean up their place. That’s why the guys at iRobot came up with the Roomba, which is a robot that moves around on its own, changing direction when it bumps into something, and vacuuming while it goes about.

It’s cool. I get it. What I don’t get though, is why anyone would want to put a turtle onto a Roomba.

It baffles the mind.

Python + Gold = $36 000 handbag fail

Basin + gold plating = ostentatious cleansing fail

Just plain fail…

So the much hyped iPad has been the butt of many jokes over the last period (see what I did there?). Furthermore, following the launch, Apple shares dropped by about 4 percent. I’m sure people will buy them because it’s an Apple, but for now it looks like the iPad may be a bloody mess (stop it!).

Thanks Kyle

So while we’re on the topic of sex this Tuesday, we’d let you a know about some recent news coming out of Prison Island. The Australian Government has banned small breasts from adult publications on the grounds that the material could be confused with child pornography. They’ve at the same time banned female ejaculation as “the depictions are a form of urination which is banned under the label of ‘golden showers’ in the Classification Guidelines” and/or “Female ejaculation is an ‘abhorrent’ depiction.”

FFS Australia, it’s 2010, not 1910! With this type of mentality, should you not be out hunting the natives? The full story from here.

An e-mail is going around about a drug bust where they uncovered a SH!TLOAD of cash at the dealer’s house. Besides the fact that you could spend the rest of your life only getting affection from Bubba and that you may ruin some lives along the way (unless you’re just selling weed, which is actually a good deed – crazy rhyme that!), this is great business. You’ll notice I struggled to categorize this piece…

Random fact: Apparently $1m worth of $100 bills weighs 17kgs.

Thanks Garth

We discussed the merits of some old school stuff the other day here and here. On a similar note, LG have launched a TV that not only looks old, but is old technology. You remember those things called CRT TV’s? Well, yeah it’s one of those. It may look quite rad, but frankly, I just don’t get it.

The guys at Geekologie are just as confused.

A UK based company is marketing stab-vests for football fans traveling to South Africa for the World Cup. If you’re a foreigner reading this, I can assure you that it’s entirely NOT necessary. In fact, if I see anyone wearing one of these during the tournament I’ll be sorely tempted to put the product to the test. The BBC reports.

I mean yes it is funny and does give every man within a 1000 square KM radius how easy you are BUT seriously if you are this chick – WHY??

The Thing:

Unlike traditional holsters, gun-concealing compression underwear “can be worn with just about everything you own, gym shorts, sweat pants, jeans, dress pants, suit and tie. Works great with or without a belt.” Because, seriously, fuck belts. When you’re a man on the go, changing pants dozens of times a day, you need to keep your gun as close to your ass skin as physically possible.

The description at GlockStore.com promises that “it’s like not wearing a holster at all! So comfortable, so secure, and yet so concealed.”

OK, not that concealed.

Why It Will End Badly:

This product is either for people who aren’t supposed to have guns to hide that fact that they’re carrying one, or people who frequently find themselves pantless in the middle of mortal danger.

In support of the former is the product review from JP in Houston, who finds his gunderwear helpful because “I often wear sweat pants while in public.” Unless he’s a secret agent infiltrating Houston’s shady underworld of unemployed comic book collectors, JP’s problem with effectively concealing a gun in his best “going out sweat pants” is one we’d just as soon leave unsolved.

Then again, it looks like the creepy soft-porn video demonstration on the site has the naked-gunfight scenario in mind, as we find ourselves rooting for the lady to pull out her panty gun and shoot the camera man:

The first half of the video demonstrates how well the product hides guns on people who don’t tuck their shirt into their underwear, while the remainder shows us what a blonde underwear model looks like saying “Why do I need to take my jeans all the way off?” through her teeth. And really, aren’t fans of uncomfortable, forced nudity the sort of people we want to be able to hide guns on their body?

The Thing:

After some rather extensive research, the folks at Smith & Wesson discovered that most bears prefer to do their attacking at close range. How close? Well, the kit contains a short barrel revolver because “[a] longer barrel would make it more difficult to use in such a confined place and at point blank range, accuracy isn’t that much of an issue.”

But don’t let the size fool you. The gun is so powerful that they claim merely firing it on the range will make your hand sore. Just make sure to find a range where they let you walk up within a few feet of the target, and pretend that it’s attacking you.

Why It Will End Badly:

The product description readily admits that by the time you get your gun out of your rubber ducky colored lunchbox, the bear’s going to be so close that gangland execution is your only option. Just make sure to aim carefully as the bear makes a crunchy pretzel sound with whichever of your extremities it has in its mouth.

The kit also includes a whistle, some mylar blankets and a saw. We have to assume that you amputate your gnawed off limbs with the saw because you just fought a grizzly bear at close range with a pistol and a whistle, and you use the blanket to stay warm as you wait for help while slowly bleeding to death. Most helpful of all, while you wait, you can read the book that comes with the kit: Bear Attacks of the Centuryand think to yourself “Man, my bear totally did that to me too.”

CONTINUE READING?

Its so nice to see a new mom concerned about her unborn child! Someone who looks out for them from before they are even born – and she is right the noise that the child hears is most certainly damaging!

WELL DONE NEW MOM! oh you may wanna kill the smoke pre photo (just a thought)