Johnnie DOUBLE BLACK! Sounds all too decadent!

Im not sure why but seldom is there a more satisfying noise than hearing ice rattle around in a heavy set tumbler filled with Johnnie Walker – regardless of colour!

Now alot of people have many opinions on whiskey but one thing is absolutely for sure – for the amount of bottles of the stuff they producemeshed with the afford-ability of buying case loads of it Johnnie Black has got to be one of the best whiskeys on the market – in fact id go as far as to say IN ITS CLASS it is the best (certainly my favorite but thats cause of the brilliant branding)

Now the boys and girls at Diageo have launched DOUBLE BLACK and it just oozes pure decadence and pleasure plus the bottle somehow adds a slight hint of elegance to an otherwise superb brand – heres the low down . . .

Spirits giant Diageo says it will launch its Johnnie Walker Double Black beyond the travel retail channel next year, broadening the Johnnie Walker lineup for consumers worldwide.

Double Black, which has extra smoky flavor than Johnnie Walker Black, was launched last January in six airport duty-free channels. It was well received, and was then made available globally in travel retail.

But response to Double Black, which costs about 20% more than Black, has been so positive that the company has geared up to distribute globally starting in March 2011.

The whisky was created by taking Black as a blueprint and adding heavily peated malts and aging some of the whisky in deeply charred oak casks. There is no age statement.

The above is from LUXIST which is a BRILLIANT SITE for the decadent ones among us!

Now if you are not a Johnnie drinker currently then for some reason you havent been watching their ad campaigns – simple brillaince that inspires me daily from their weird and wonderful billboard placement to their brilliant TV and print ads – these guys have done such a good job on branding that im not sure anymore if i drink so much of it because i love the taste or if its because i love myself so much while im drinking it (as a self confessed narcissist its probably the latter) in any event watch the below advert and tell me this isnt one of the coolest brands in the world . . . KEEP WALKING!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnSIp76CvUI

Sometimes being a smart ass is the only way to go!

6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
‘What are my choices?’ the man asked.
‘Yes or no,’ she replied.

5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.  As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said,
‘Sir, I need to see your ticket – not your stub.’

4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury’s but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The assistant replied, ‘I’m afraid not, they’re dead.’

3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the bobby said.
The kid replied, ‘Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

2nd Place
A  lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that  read ‘ Low Bridge Ahead.’
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry’s cab And said to the driver, ‘Got stuck, eh?’
The lorry driver said, ‘No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!’

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow’s final exam.

‘Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a  nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A  smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

‘What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,

shook her head and sweetly said,

‘Well, I suppose you’d have to write with your other hand’.

@bokrugby is now the joke of the world!

What the hell has happened – i mean seriously WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED!

Dont get me started again on this seasons rugby – if you want to see the anger and opinions – go read the write ups that we managed to pull together for long enough to write! But this may well be the most embarrassing thing i have witnesses to date!

I mean we have now finally becoming a laughing stock and rightly so if we are actually honest – our coach cannot manage his players – we have decided to hire him a baby sitter in the meantime AND NO ONE WANTS THE JOB not John Mitchell not Heineke Meyer – NO ONE!

I cant continue this cause im starting to lose it a bit but below is a picture sent to us by THE WAG from New Zealands papers today!

Is TIM WHYATT the new GARY LARSON?

Ive been waiting to find a cartoonist for a long time that has the same twistedly brilliant sense of humour that Gary Larsons far side has! He manages somehow to take the most ordinary scene and make it absolutely hysterical (albeit in a slightly sick way!) If you you dont know who im on about at all then this conversation is going to mean very little so STOP WHAT YOURE ARE DOING AND CLICK THE LINK ABOVE!

Seriously STOP READING AND CLICK ITLL CHANGE YOUR LIFE (and not in the ‘drink the cool aid and jump off a mountain’ kinda way!)

But for years Gary has been my only source of sick comedic brilliance – well other than John Vlismas but anyway finally i was sent Tim Whyatts stuff and i have, to be fair, stumbled across it before but i never really had a look around this dudes brain which i have done now and DAMN i was pleasantly surprised – same sick sort of humour with brilliant takes on everyday life – here is a tiny sample of what im talking about!

GO CHECK HIS SITE – GO NOW!

Blackberry Playbook: I think im in love!

So apparently they did a study when Bberrys first came out that compared the blinking of the light on the Bberry releasing the same endorphins as mild crack (well if there is such a thing) – never the less when i read this i thought to myself these damn Yanks have lost their shit worse than ever before (only cause right in the beginning the yanks were the only ones who had bberry) but when the emerging markets (better than using third world M?) finally got the glorious gift that is bberry and i enjoyed the  little blinking light for the first time it felt like what i can only imagine a junkie in an alley feels when he shoots up for the first time and i had to get it again!

I installed every possible app that would give me this single high again and again over and over so now i sit with the grand total of TEN separate ways that the little red light can blink! So imagine my excitement when i saw the below video of the new bberry tablet – the joy of having all the brilliance of the bberry but in tablet form! I almost threw my ipad over the balcony of my Durban hotel!

It gave me that good old fashion rush all over again just like the first time that little red light blinked for the first time! I cannot wait for RIM to finally come out and seriously take Apple on in ONE of its product lines! Yes yes there will be teething issues and not all the fun stuff right away but DAMN this thing looks cool!

Just watch and try not to cry from joy!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaez_4m9mQ&feature=player_embedded

For more info GO HERE

Dont you just LOVE phone wars! iPhone VS HTC is CLASSIC!

This is truly classic and to be completely truthful i really dont agree but once you listen to it you do kinda feel like a moron if you bought an iPhone! But lets be completely fair if you are looking at buying a small SUV and you choose a Q5 but the KIA has the same if not better features / styling etc – do you feel like an idiot? HELL NO because you wouldnt drive a KIA – same rules apply here!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7yD-0pqZg

@British_Airways vs SAA: The tale of a sad South African!

Now before you read this article let me put it into context – i travel roughly 200 – 250 days a year. If you have seen UP IN THE AIR you know how i feel (well to be fair i dont fire people everywhere) so when i start analysing one airline to another please understand its not cause im a snob or a brat but because i travel so much that a minor glitch in the system truly fks with my universe!

So as a VERY proud South African i thought it only right to give a fair comparison between our national carrier and British Airways (who i have kicked against flying for years!)

The Check In

Both are pretty much the same although for some reason BA im the only one in the queue and SAA i always wait – the difference comes in when you get checked in on BA they smile are attentive and have for the last 8 months (since i started flying with them) have given me an upgrade to business class EVERY flight without me asking! SAA the person at the counter looks at you as if you have crawled out from under a bergies trolley and if you dare ask for an upgrade you are given a look of complete bemusement!

The Lounges

The lounges are universes apart – while SAA have redone theirs it still feels like some kind of squatter camp compared to BA (RELATIVELY PEOPLE – DONT GET SO ANGRY ALREADY!) BA’s lounges are modern, fresh and clean with freshly prepared wraps, salads and fruit platters! They are never overcrowded and always have more than four LCD TVs (personal favourite) – in comparison SAA make food in bulk that is squashed and far from measuring up in freshness! No question BA murders this one hands down in fact I would rather be in the BA SLOW lounges than in my hotel sometimes (and I go there when I’m hung-over and trying to hide!)

I neglected to mention with a SAA platinum card you can only take a guest in if they are travelling SAA – with a BA gold card you can go in with a guest even if NEITHER of you are on BA that day (oh and they don’t look at you like a stray dog just cause you’re under 30!)

The Planes

Here sometimes SAA has the edge ONLY in terms of newness (not really a word but SAA aren’t really an airline so I don’t care!) In terms of on board service there is no comparison – BA’s menu is made by woollies and in business class you get at least four meal choices each freshly prepared and superbly presented! SAA both in economy and business while they have worked on their menu still trail miles behind in comparison!  As I speak the poor dude next to me just got shouted at by the air host who for some reason thinks he’s mayor of the plane (um aren’t we the customer here Mr Air Hostess!) Ye si am currently on an SAA flight which hasn’t been so bad so far except for the 20 minute delay as usual BUT I’m only here because BA doesn’t fly from PE to Durbs in the middle of the day(that’s probably the only place SAA win in this competition – number of routes – WELL DONE!)

Finally I thought id sum up with a brief story – after all of the above I decided to try SAA one more time as I hadn’t flown with them in months and although I should NEVER have even tried to go back I thought as a proud South African I want to be flying my nationally carrier! To cut a long story short the plane was delayed and hour both ways (which by the way has NEVER happened in the 8 months on BA) and on the way there my Garmin and IPod were stolen from SKYCHECK (for those of you who don’t know that’s when you leave your bag AT the plane and it’s on the runway when you get off)

I write this article for a few reasons! Firstly because SAA should know how poor they are VS their competitors and just cause their planes are full to the brim with our fat government officials (don’t even get me started) doesn’t mean they can continue offering crap and just accept us to take it! Dont get me wrong I’m not the type of traveller that needs to be pampered in fact I travel so much that I’m the exact opposite – I want to get to my seat (preferably row 1 – 10) sit in it take off and put in my iPad and do some work and get served a cup of coffee and a bottle of water without being snarled at!

We should hold ourselves to a higher standard as well as our service providers and we SHOULD always support those who give us the best service – we should commend great service and obliterate poor service in every sphere as this is the only way we as a country will be able to compete globally! Far too often we as South Africans accept shocking service and it NEEDS TO STOP!

Best Wishes and so long SAA!

Do something fun for yourself and for the earth!

Greenpop is hosting a treerific party at the Assembly next Thursday 30 September called Cool as Folk.

Featuring Jeremy Loops & Co (if you’ve seen them at any of the Greenpop activations, you’ll know what a stir these crazy looping free-style guys are creating), Holiday Murray, She Man Lion, Tommy Gun and Haasbroek, it’s sure to be a night of great varied beats and happy green people. The R30 door fee goes towards buying and planting more trees in under-greened schools and community centres around Cape Town! Doors open at 8pm

www.greepop.org

Happy Heritage Day

I think so often we’re just stoked to have a public holiday that we forget the true meaning behind the day. Or in this case we think of it as Braai Day. I’m all for a good barbie, but let’s not forget why we’re actually having the public holiday. Perhaps it’s a good time to debate whether upholding cultural beliefs does more harm or good in the greater scheme of things.
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Or stick with just braaing and beer. It’s been a long short week so I think I’ll do the latter.

So grab your braai pack…

and some beer…

and have a rad long weekend!

The new masculinity.

This is a question the guys over at Black Label recently asked. The answer?…

A recent study by Space Doctors, a leading international research company, showed that masculine roles are increasingly under debate and expectations around work are shifting. A well-known external research company was commissioned to do the research to ensure that South African masculinity could be objectively analysed. The research, undertaken over a six-month period in South Africa at the end of 2009, confirmed that there is no longer one form of masculine expression but instead it is changing to multiple different masculinities.

The research shows that masculinity today is more diverse and fluid and is not just about physical assertion. The research found that wider social and economic forces are contributing to changes in manhood. He points out that the unsettled political context, legislation that changes how men see women and an emerging class of black and coloured people with disposable incomes have all contributed.

Men’s responses to these changes are reflected by taking on a greater variety of roles, tasks and identities as traditional expressions of masculinity have become destabilised and are evolving. The findings also indicate that the traditional avenues for expressing masculinity are being eroded. Men want to be looked up to in new ways and are taking active positions in the debate over what it means to be a man.

Another key insight from the study is that physical labour or traditional ‘man’s work’ no longer holds the same status and a new entrepreneurial class is emerging. Men are seeking fulfilment from work that goes beyond simply earning a wage – there is more emphasis on the right to self-expression through work.

Today, we admire men who take on life and win. We respect men with values and ambition. We call them true men – men with guts and character. Now, winners who are brave, strong and true replace workers. The research identified key dominant and emergent South African men that are instrumental in defining the new masculinity.

They are suburban men who have made their way up the social ladder, are proud of their capacity to care for their immediate and extended family, and who are keen to act as role models for others. They are also visionary heroes espousing a more values-based, socially-conscious way of living. The visionary sees the potential for something new, he want to share his hopes and ideas about a better way.

Damn those cool @TheAllBlacks_NZ!

As an ardent Springbok supporter it is VERY hard to say the following!

The All Blacks are perhaps the coolest rugby side on the planet – i mean sure the Boks have had their moments of coolness but its rare and infrequent! NZ on the other hand are very cool – they have a massive facebook and twitter following! They used their own teams blood to create limited posters for the fans (which is more like a cult or religeous following than a sporting passion – which sadly is ALSO cooler!) and then their is their skill . . .

If you have ever kicked, passed or caught a rugby ball you will know how hard it is to do what these dudes are – and if you have never done any of those go buy a ball bill it to STM and try it out – these men are seriously good!

DAMN DAMN DAMN cant see Ricky January pulling this sh1t off??

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV3SQ9Gmlb0

Do you #Vajazzle ?

I thought that women had managed to accessorize absolutely everything – i mean when you start buying animals so you can have the accessories you pretty much have run out of shit for your self BUT NO theres more – and its called VAJAZZLING!

Now i must say of all the weird and wonderful accessories you women come up with this has got to be the best and i think if you watch the video you may just agree with me (and i mean both sides of the sexes!) After Jennifer Love Hewitt ‘came out’ of here Vajazzle closet the world has been going mad!

So if you wanna know what it entails just hit play!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnDwcSfL2Tw&feature=player_embedded&has_verified=1

And now if you want to get Vajazzled just GO HERE! It will give you everything you ever want to know!

NOW WHO SAYS STM DOESNT WRITE FOR THE LADIES??

For all the info go to VAJAZZLE ME!

@jamiehartman thank you for the brilliance of #BensBrother!

I was in Rome a while ago when I heard these guys and it blew me away. I’m normally massively conscientious of things I pick up on my travels but somehow this slipped through the cracks. Until i heard it again on the most obscure mixed disk ever – I have since downloaded every song I think they’ve ever made!

Such diverse, clear talent is hard to come by and these guys have it in masses! Just sit back and enjoy these two!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdR2ixsUkPE&feature=player_embedded

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPe4_nFmW18&feature=related

Go check out their site for more info – but seriously dudes when you coming to South Africa?