Im confused – isnt this already called SIM CITY????

Monopoly City Streets: Take over your own bit of the world…

The Monopoly Dude

The Monopoly Dude

Ah the sweet taste of world domination – come on, you can’t say that it’s never crossed your mind before. Fortunately, Monopoly and Google Earth have teamed up to make this harmless desire come true.

As Google Earth is one of the most popular online applications around, and Monopoly is one of the most well known board games of all time, it seems as though each company saw an opportunity to make something different that combines the best of both worlds. The result of all of this is a global online game called Monopoly City Streets.

Cape Town could be yours

Cape Town could be yours

In Monopoly City Streets you are initially given 3,000,000 million dollars to buy and sell property from pretty much any location in the world whether it in Paris, New York, or Cape Town. At the beginning you are prompted to buy a street. If someone owns it, you can either make an offer to buy, or try to sabotage them. Your goal, like in any monopoly game is to build your own little empire of property through crafty negotiation.

How cool is the new touch :)

An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod Touch

ipodtouchab0908092 An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchThe internet has been all aflutter with rumors that a new iPod Touch will be announced in the coming days.  The hype reached a fever pitch when Apple sent out invites for an event taking place tomorrow, September 9th, 2009.  We have been following this developing story closely.  How closely?  Well, how about receiving an exclusive look at the new iPod Touch along with detailed descriptions of all of the new features from an inside source at Apple?  Is that closely enough for you?  No need to answer that, because the answer is yes, so shut your mouth and keep reading.

1. Slimmer Design

sideviewipod1 An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchYou were probably a bit confused by the arrow pointing to the long black line in the picture above.  It looks like a whole bunch of nothing, right?  Wrong, that’s a side view of the new iPod Touch.  Against all odds, Steve Jobs (who did not provide this information to us, in case you’re wondering) and his gang of tech savvy henchmen have actually managed to make the already slim iPod Touch even slimmer.  Clocking in at a width of just four microns, the iPod Touch is approximately as wide as a mosquito’s penis is long.  That’s the actual wording used in the advertising, by the way.  In fact, in the picture above, the image is actually magnified 500%.  You can’t even see this shit in real life.  At least not from the side.  That’s also from the advertising.

2. Polaroid Camera

polaroidipod An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchRetro is all the rage these days, and nobody recognizes that more than the folks at Apple.  Take that slimmer-bordering-on-invisible side view of the new iPod Touch.  Doesn’t it kind of hearken back to the days of Crystal Pepsi?  No?  Not really?  Well, you’re wrong.  You can’t see the new iPod from the side and Crystal Pepsi was like invisible and shit.  You could see right through the bottle.  It’s like it was empty, but still full of Pepsi.  Way ahead of its time.  Trust us, it’s the same thing.  And the throwback qualities don’t end there.

While most portable devices are clamoring to find room to cram some shitty digital camera into their gadget space, Apple is taking it one step further with an included Polaroid instant camera.  When it comes to instant photo gratification, nothing ever topped the magic of the Polaroid camera.  Take a picture, shake it for reasons that are still unclear to us, wait five minutes and voila, you got yourself a photo.  No USB connections, no emailing, none of that tech savvy horseshit.

For such a forward thinking device, the inclusion of an old school instant camera is a shrewd move guaranteed to appeal to older users who miss the days when taking a picture was easy.  No more digital camera mess to wallow through to take a picture.  Now, you just push the black button in the middle, click the menu icon on the screen, open the “apps” menu, open the “photos” app, open the “settings” menu within the “photos” app, set your desired lighting percentage that you should have already calculated using the “outdoor photos” app, shake the iPod three times forcefully and double click the big red button that appears on the screen.  Simple.

3. iShank

shankipod An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchWorried about getting mugged on the subway and having your iPod taken from you by force?  Well you should be, you’re a total pussy.  But consider those fears erased the moment you purchase the new third generation iPod Touch.  When faced with less than comfortable surroundings, like being on a bus with poor people for example, just keep your thumb on the revolutionary iShank icon which makes its debut with this new generation iPod.  When the icon is clicked, a rusty, six-inch prison shank juts out from the top of the device.  If someone acts up, use it to throttle their windpipe.  Does throttle mean “to choke”?  Yes, yes it does.  But imagine “choking” an assailant with a rusty prison shank.  Right, disaster averted (for you anyway, that guy has six kids to support and was just wanting to ask if you knew what time it was).

But be advised, there is currently no safety feature for the iShank application.  It would have delayed the release announcement, and 09/09/09 was way too cool of a date to pass up.  Our source tells us that a safety feature will be included with the next iTunes update.  Until then, just watch your digits.  And take it easy on the mass transit folk, Bernie Goetz.

4. Obsolescence Timer

ipodtimer An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchIf there is one concern most people have when purchasing a new iPod, it’s whether that $2.00 silicon case they bought from some Japanese company on Ebay will arrive before the screen becomes catastrophically scratched despite never being touched by human hands.  After that question is resolved, most people want to know how soon after their purchase will a newer, awesomer iPod be released.  Wonder no more.  Each third generation iPod comes with a built in timer that counts down to the very moment when your device will be come a laughing stock amongst your hipper, more technologically advanced friends.

5. The Black Button On the Left

ipodbutton1 An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchBeing a touchscreen device, the need for actual buttons is pretty much nonexistent.  But Apple understands, sometimes you just want to fuck around with real life buttons.  It’s a nostalgia thing.  It reminds you of the days of Sony Walkmans and VCR’s and porn printed on paper and stuff.  To address this, the third generation iPod Touch now includes an additional button to the left of the original button.  It’s pretty useless.  Basically, instead of just clicking on something, a song you want to listen to for example, you would push the black button, click on the song you want to listen to, and then click the big black button on the left to listen to it.  This is just retarded.  But for some reason, we like it anyway.

6. The Black Button On the Right

ipodbutton2 An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchThis button is, in fact, even more useless than the extra button on the left.  It does the exact same thing that the button on the left does.  There is really no reason for this to exist, but early prototypes of the third generation Touch revealed that the two button model just looked like ass.  This situation could only be rectified by adding a third button.  Seriously, it’s completely pointless.

7. iNFINITE™ Storage Capacity

outer spaceab090809 An Exclusive First Look at the New iPod TouchLimited storage capacity has long been a sticking point for serious music lovers when it comes to purchasing an iPod Touch.  32 GB?  Well that covers our collection of Animal Collective bootlegs.  Now where will the rest of our music go?  Well, consider those concerns obliterated thanks to Apple’s new iNFINITE™ Storage Capacity.  Notice the douchebaggy way they spelled infinite?  Yeah, that means it’s trademarked.  Read it and weep, Zune!

How does the new technology work?  Simple, the third generation iPod Touch is capable of holding every song that has been or ever will be recorded.  Thanks to wireless technology and, like, science and stuff, the songs aren’t even stored on the iPod.  Instead, the songs are stored on remote servers buried somewhere underground near the Apple headquarters.

This means that, technically, your iPod comes preloaded with every song ever recorded.  You don’t even have to pay for them.  You just have to show tendencies that would lead one to believe you like a certain song or artist.  The iNFINITE™ technology includes coding that actually reads your thoughts and loads your iPod accordingly.  Love NASCAR?  Enjoy the complete works of Nickelback, because it’s on your iPod right now.  Are you a fan of the films of Michael Gondry?  Then you’ll love those albums by French electronic duo Air.  Do you often debate the inner workings of the cast of The Hills?  Have fun listening to whatever kind of horrific Black Eyed Peas songs accompany shitty decision making of that magnitude.  You didn’t download them, because you didn’t have to.  Apple just knows.

Google: Good or SUPER Evil?

Top 10: Sinister Google Activities

Google's Sinister

No.10 – Google is buying up dark fiber

Though the mysterious name makes it sound like some kind of serpentine spy network, “dark fiber” is just unused fiber-optic cable that’s been lying dormant since tech boom companies failed to make any use of it. However, before you say “Oh, well that’s OK,” consider that Google could be planning on creating its own IP network or maybe offering nationwide free Wi-Fi as it does in its hometown of Mountain View. On one hand, hooray, free Wi-Fi! On the other hand, what kind of catastrophic effects would it have on the economy if Google single-handedly leveled the telecom industry?

Google's Sinister

No.9 – Google destroys libraries

Geoff Nunberg labeled Google Books “The Last Library,” a pretty dire term for Google’s massive project to scan and index the contents of millions of books. The company had to pay a $125 million settlement in 2008, after a lawsuit accused it of infringing on authors’ and publishers’ copyrights. The Department of Justice is investigating exactly how legal the settlement was, and whether or not it violates the Sherman Antitrust Act, given that it grants Google (and nobody else) an eternal license to sell books whose authors can’t be located.

WANT TO SEE THE REST OF THE SINISTER!

Clooney as Fantastic Mr Fox – perfect casting!!

I remember reading the book, i remember having the audio tape and now that i know George Clooney is the man i think i may even remember him being the fox in my head 20 odd years ago! I don’t particularly remember what happened in the story or what exactly it was about – all i do remember is that i must have listed to this bloody story for weeks over and over and when you have an IQ of 150+ and you can listen to the same thing so many times – it must have been OUTRAGEOUS! Hence my anticipation for the following!

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Tribute to GREATNESS!

SO to answer the first part of the question i asked a few weeks ago about this BOK side – their first challenge was to define themselves as the best SPRINGBOK team ever before best rugby team.

Now to evaluate – i will not list for your the multitude of accomplishments because i would rather the pictures show you them –  but in essence this BOK team has been the dominant force in world rugby for almost two years – this answers the first part of the greatness riddle – LONGEVITY – they are by no means a fly by night fluke side – they have proven in various countries, numerous tournaments, different conditions and varied game plans that they are the best and have been for a while now.

Their accolades far exceed any side that have come before them and they have faced the biggest demon of greatness head on – COMPLACENCY. Through the leadership of John Smit and other senior players they have stayed humble, focussed and hungry and look like they just may do so until 2011 – time will tell.

Finally they have learned – as only you can discover this through experience – SELF BELIEF – this is what you find in yourself when the All Blacks score two quick tries to leave you 12 – 0 down before you have wiped the tape out your eyes. This team has shown it has the courage and passion to keep calm and find the heart deep down to come back to claim victory!

There are hundreds of superlatives to describe good teams but the above probably sums this era of BOKS up for now – we could add as many as you want to the list but until they get to NZ in 2011 with one goal in mind – and perhaps actually achieve that goals – the superlative of GREATEST EVER remains out of the summary . . . to be continued

For now if you are a fan, supporter, player or family of any of the previous – sit back – pour a drink – and read through the rest of this mail. Anyway you look it at its gonna make you smile!!

RUGBY WORLD CUP SEVENS TROPHY

THE SUPER 14 TROPHY

BLUE BULLS

THE FREEDOM CUP TROPHY

ALL BLACKS VS SPRINGBOKS

THE NELSON MANDELA CHALLENGE PLATE

AUSRALIA VS SPRINGBOKS

THE BRITISH AND IRISH LIONS SERIES TROPHY

TRI-NATIONS TROPHY

THE WEB ELLIS CUP AKA WORLD CUP TROPHY

THE HOLDER OF ALL OF THE ABOVE:

THERE IS ONLY ONE OTHER MAJOR TROPHY LEFT WHICH WE DON’T HAVE, AND THAT IS:

THE SIX NATIONS TROPHY

THE REASON: WE DON’T PLAY IN THE SIX NATIONS.

WELL DONE BOKKE, IT’S A FIRST IN SOUTH AFRICAN HISTORY THAT WE HOLD EVERY TROPHY AVAILIBLE TO US.

Is someone on CRACK! (max du preez & The Star seem to be)

Malema for president?

A top South African journalist and author believes that ANC Youth League President Julius Malema has his sights set on becoming the country’s next president.

The World According to Julius Malema – which documents his meteoric rise to power into “the most influential politician” in the ANC – written by veteran journalist Max du Preez and co-authored by journalist Mandy Rossouw, was launched yesterday.

President Jacob Zuma has reportedly said the African National Congress youth leader does sometimes go “overboard”.

Zuma was quoted as saying: “We’ve got to talk to Julius, we’ve got to grow him [and] make him to become a leader that we want to know.”

Cock of the week IV

Now this really is an apt story after the Castar Semenya story because is poor Castar got tested then how the hell did SERENA WILLIAMS miss out on the test – i mean with respect she is built like Pierre Spies and we think he is a spartan!

SAME TRAINER?? I THINK SO!

She makes Semenya look like Reece Witherspoon!! So besides the fact that she and her sister have managed to dupe the tennis federation for years – THAT’S NOT ENOUGH! Now she has to threaten the lives of the officials??

Has the world gone mad that we let our sportsmen AND WOMEN get away with crap like this? Now don’t misunderstand here – when I play sports I get very emotional and needless to say i swear / break racquets etc BUT i never would swear at or threaten a referee – i mean these people are the controllers of the game – they are human / they cheat / they lie and sometimes they are crooked but they are the reason the game functions and to behave like a spoiled whiny little brat is just not acceptable!

Someone needs to ban her or make her serve some sort of penalty but to let this little prima donna run around grunting like a camel in heat and swearing at officials makes me want to slam a racquet down her throat! IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND SOMETHING MUST BE DONE about her attitude and her gender testing!

THIS JUST IS NOT SPORT AND SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED!! WHERE THE HELL ARE THE GOVERNING BODIES (oh i forgot the tennis one is cowering in the corner like athletics south africa)

BY UNANIMOUS VOTE THIS WEEKS COW is the annoying and pathetic SERENA WILLIAMS!!

watch?v=EZcDn8JWCLo

Lolly cant take the heat anymore?


Is South Africa’s answer to Hugh Hefner ready to leave the country? Lolly Jackson, who owns a string of Teazers nightclub,s has been saying since 2006 that he was ready to leave the country. Now his home in the Befordview area is one of the properties up for auction by Saville Row Auctions on October 1. The fast-living, poker-playing beacon of controversy is selling a home that has five bedrooms, a gym, a sauna, and a Jacuzzi. Jackson is an exotic car collector and so the home has five garages. The grounds also include a garden, pool and aviary.

Jackson has long complained over bad treatment in South Africa saying that he receives harsher treatment than other people because of the business he is in. Most recently he was in court over complaints that he illegally employed Eastern Europeans at his Teazers clubs. He is also being investigated by the South African Revenue Service.

Wagisms . . .

For those of you who dont know the WAG you would have to imagine these little pearls of wisdom in a very heavy dutch accent (if you are a South African by DUTCH i mean from the other side of the boerewors curtain)

After a few friday beers the wag arrives just in time to give us this GEM

‘Just when you think you get on top . . . life turns you over and F**KS you from behind!”

Words of wisdom Wag – words of wisdom!

Can we order yet?

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From Tai Chiem, the same designer who conceptualized last week’s XBox 720comes this PS4.

As the designer expects, the Playstation 4 will sport a high end touch screen rather than glossy body that the current generation gaming console sports. The CD ROM has a sexy placement and a gloss cover that can be customized would definitely be an added advantage, what say? Even the PS4 controllers are designed to perfectly match with the console and will sport a few touch screen options. From the images given, it seems that the gen next Play station will also have an embedded OLED screen, which makes this Playstation 4 game console here twice as cool as expected, right?


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Amazing New PS4 Game Console Design